Reply to Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of people have more things going on in their lives than you realize/know.  Issues with spouse, health / career / financial issues that you may be unaware of, etc.  [/quote]

This is very true.

But also people nowadays are more inclined to flake just because they'd rather stay home and watch Netflix in their sweatpants. There's a guise of doing it to take care of their mental health but sometimes it's just selfish and inconsiderate. And ultimately defeats the purpose since a big part of mental health is positive interactions with other humans. [/quote]

OP here and I agree. I'm introverted and have some social anxiety. TBH, I wanted to flake on the dinner last night because I was nervous about not knowing many people! But I went, generally enjoyed it, and felt better about myself afterwards for making an effort. [/quote]

That’s great for you. I generally enjoy it when I go out and do feel better afterwards and I’m glad I went. But sometimes it’s also too much and not going is the right decision. Just because it was a good idea for you that one time doesn’t mean it’s the answer for everyone all the time.

I’m someone who hosts a lot and of course I get disappointed when people back out. I’ve also stopped inviting or at least stopped expecting anything from certain people. That helps me temper expectations and leave room for my friends who generally show up but sometimes need to back out. [/quote]

I doubt someone who hosts a lot is ok with people just not showing up because it's "too much" here and there. People don't like being taken advantage of or mistreated, which is what happens when people flake. It's too much to buy food and drink for friends who don't care enough to attend.[/quote]

I mean, ok, not sure what to tell you. I literally explained that I'm disappointed when people back out but I also plan events accordingly. I either secure RSVPs from the people I care about who I know won't flake and then am not bothered by the rest if it's a smaller event or I make it a bigger event and then I don't really care who shows up.

A lot of our social gatherings are pot luck style, which helps because you have the right amount of food, it's not too much to ask of the host, and maybe people feel more pressure to attend if they said yes because they've responded saying they're bringing something specific and they know people are counting on that.

At the end of the day, you can either live your life pissed about the people who didn't show up or enjoying the ones who did. I choose the latter. [/quote]

Pot luck? Ick.

I don’t expect people to bring a dish. I provide, as the host. [/quote]

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