Reply to Son only cousin excluded from nephew's wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Meh.  You’re keeping track of the value of gifts and “financial support” you’ve been giving the groom over the years?  Not only kinda petty but irrelevant. [/quote]

Well, the money wasn't irrelevant to him.  It helped him pay for college.  And it doesn't require a ton of keeping track as three items were large checks that could quickly be totaled in my head.[/quote]

$15000 over 15 years is a pittance.  [/quote]

Lol no. Nephew should have stood up for his generous aunt. [/quote]

Why? Did he know the money came with strings attached? Tacky giving.[/quote]

This isn't really strings attached. It's a reasonable thing to include people they're close to, including their children, especially when other cousins are included. I don't agree with being a high maintenance guest. But this idea that somehow guests are supposed to deal with anything with a smile and the wedding couple is above reproach is silly.

If you're close to your sibling, I would probably just mention it to them once. I would be *livid* if I found out my son did this. I know, people would say that's overstepping, but in families that work well, we do actually care about hurting each others' feelings. The groom's parent can talk with the groom, if they want to, and the groom can either share why it won't work or perhaps make an exception. Both are ok, but no need to never discuss anything because it's "their big day".

I guess the other question is - was this nephew thankful for your earlier support? Are they otherwise kind? If so, I would also move on and not lose the relationship over this. [/quote]

That's why we don't take money from family, especially my parents and sister as they like to control people with money.  I would decline, and forget it.[/quote]

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