Reply to Spouse told me I’m the reason they’re depressed

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Reply to "Spouse told me I’m the reason they’re depressed"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A man sharing how they feel isn't abusive. Even if it is something you don't want to hear.

Clearly this needs a much deeper discussion. There are many men and women who do walk on eggshells and live in fear of how their spouse will react and the house is more relaxed and peaceful when that person isn't there. You can find many threads on here about this.

You need to have a sit down, no kids around conversation. Ask them to explain more, what has happened that has made them feel that way etc. You don't have to agree but hear them out. [/quote]

Voicing your feelings isn't (generally) abusive. But saying I hate you and then I love you is.[/quote]

That isn't what he did. In a moment of vulnerability after a therapy session, he voiced an honest feeling that he feels bullied, walks on eggshells, and that everyone is happier / more relaxed when she isn't there. Then he went back to walking on eggshells and trying to do / say all the right things to keep her happy like he usually does. [/quote]

Grew up with a mom like this.  The pretending to be happy and all of that is exactly what we would all do when we could tell she was upset.  Because we knew how easy it was for her to go off in those situations so it was better to just placate her.  And yeah sometimes we would erupt after having to walk on eggshells and hide our feelings for so long.

The reality is, no one on DCUM can tell you if he's an abusive and manipulative jerk or if you're like my mom.  You need a marriage counselor or at least to attend a therapy session with your spouse to discuss what's going on. [/quote]

This was my mom too. It was exhausting and stressful. And she was never at fault of course.[/quote]

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