Reply to When to stop inviting all girls in class or kids of parent friends?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At no age is it okay to invite all the girls in your class but two. If you end up at a tiny high school with 15 girls in your grade, it would not be okay to invite 13 of them to your 18th birthday. [/quote]

This. We stopped inviting all the girls on class by then, but we were inviting less than half. We stopped inviting kids of my friends well before 9. That was really just preschool. [/quote]

The OP has a really weird fixation on wanting to control who her daughter invites on one hand- like, the forcing her to invite a girl who was outwardly mean to her but whose mother the OP wants to remain on good terms with for social heirarchy reasons, when that girl isn't even in her class.  And the trying to force her to invite the children of the OP and OP's DH's friends even when her daughter pushes back.  That stuff is weird.  And then on the flip side, she throws up her hands and says "but she never really plays with those girls, and the other girls in class also left them out, so, it seems like it's the normal thing to do, to leave out those 2 girls!" about her classmates.  It seems like OP only cares about hurting the feelings of important adult friends of hers, and doesn't care in the slightest about hurting the feelings of children whose parents she doesn't know.  [/quote]

I actually now agree with my daughter and will let her invite who she wants on her birthday. I would not want people I have zero relationship with at my birthday either.

Making my son invite those boys in fifth and sixth grade did not make them friends. They didn’t talk then and still don’t talk now. I actually met the mom of one of those boys I forced my son to invite. They didn’t come to the party. The mom didn’t know who my son was. I didn’t recognize the mom because I never met her before. I only recognized her son’s name because my son didn’t want to invite him in sixth grade and I forced him. I don’t know why I made it such a big deal to invite him, the same way I’m trying to force my daughter to invite these two girls.[/quote]

If you can’t grasp the concept of “whole class, vs just closest friends, are both fine” and “whole class except for 1 or 2 girls my daughter says never get invited to anything anyways, is NOT fine”  then you are beyond help. [/quote]

I have already said this but I made my son always invite the boys until sixth. I was always busy juggling my three kids and their many activities and our whole family social plans that I didn’t take a tally of who was invited from which class when my kids went to parties.

I have also said that the party didn’t make the kids be friends. Much more than a birthday party invitation, on everyday hangouts, kids on the periphery often feel left out. I don’t think the kid who isn’t even in the friend group at all who isn’t friends at all would feel bad.

I am juggling elementary along with teenagers. Homecoming was a whole other thing. We were the homecoming get ready house. Moms I knew from elementary were trying to get the kids together for homecoming. Halloween and trick or treating was a big deal last year in middle school where my son was invited and others were not. [/quote]

It’s not about you i[b]t’s about the 2 girls in her class who are being excluded by your daughter. They will know they were excluded.[/b] It doesn’t matter what their moms know or don’t know. It’s not about you and whatever social juggling you and other parents are doing for their kids. It’s truly about one thing only which is “don’t invite all the girls in the class except 2”.

The rest is just random stuff you’re repeating about your sons stuff from years ago that’s not relevant [/quote]

I'm a little puzzled by this. When I was this age I knew who I was friends with and who I wasn't, and I didn't expect to be invited to a non-friend's birthday party. [/quote]

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