Reply to Extreme resentment over mental load

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s unconscious, but this is about establishing power in the relationship. No modern man would say to his wife “I’m the leader of this household,” but they communicate in this more subtle, non-verbal way.  
By framing the relationship in a way where she just does things, but he has to be asked to do normal things like clean the house, watch the kids, prepare food, or buy Christmas presents, he (likely unconsciously) asserts that he is the more powerful person in the relationship without actually having to say it.

That’s what you are resentful about, OP.  It isn’t the “mental load.”  It’s that he is treating you as “lesser than” he is.

[/quote]

OP here. He definitely treats me as though I’m less than him in many ways. [/quote]

Your only option is to push back. Channel your husband’s energy. It’s working for him, it can work for yoo, too. I lived all of this 15 years ago and FF and my kids are great young adults, I’m still married (happily!), and our marriage is soooo much more equitable. PUSH BACK[/quote]

Yep. This is the game. Or, to avoid riling the PP who is triggered by that framing, the "dance".[/quote]

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