Reply to Am I out of line? Refusing to host ILs for Xmas?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Idiots will say idiotic things. I just don't react when that happens.

OP, you are right to feel offended.  But, refusing to host for this reason is unnecessarily confrontational.  I just do not give weight to any nonsense that others speak.  Elderly tend to lose their filter and will say such things. This is age-related cognitive decline. [/quote]
I detest people like PP who think it's normal that old people lose their filter. No, most do not, actually. Only those who have never been made to feel consequences, and the patients with significant decline (not just garden variety memory issues). The majority of seniors can, and do, have it together.

The best way to deal with this is to nip such behavior in the bud. OP should disinvite the in-laws and see whether they shape up. I did something similar with my mother. She verbally abused my husband, my daughter and me, and I cut her off for 6 months. Since then, she's been a LOT more circumspect in her speech. My mother is the sort of person who walks all over doormats and people who don't speak out, but who cowers in front of those with stronger boundaries.

My father, on the other hand, is in his last illness, on heavy medication. We all excuse his outbursts when he's in pain and confused. And even then, he doesn't attack us specifically. He swears and yells because he's in pain, or because he has trouble finding words to describe his condition. Completely different scenario.

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