Reply to At what cost do you help your adult kids after getting them through college?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would say that whatever you do, attempt to do it fairly for all your kids.  My sister is stil resentful about the fact that my brother and I got help with grad school while she chose not to go to grad school.  My brother and his wife bled my parents dry for years to the point that my parents were putting off costly and necessary home repairs so they could pay for my brothers' kids private school.  [/quote]

"fair" is different to everyone.

For us, we will fund undergrad and graduate school.  However, if one kid chooses not to attend Graduate school, it doesn't mean they get $100K+ to "spend however they want".  That money is allocated for school.  They are not getting it to get a sports car or something else.  And IMO, that is fair.  It's not "$X for each kid" it's paying for their education.

One kid cost us $40K/year for college, done in 4 years.  The next kid is costing us $90K/year for college and with this economy and job outlook, may do their MS in their field (Engineering) if they cannot find a decent job.  We will pay for that (it's likely to be $85K+).  Does that mean kid 1 gets extra $$$?  No.  If/when they want to attend graduate school, we will assist them.  We have paid for each kid's educational needs along the way.  Kid 1 required lots of intensive tutoring/therapies from ES-HS, some years spending $15K+.  It's what they needed and we provided it.  Doesn't mean the other kid gets something in return
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What you describe sounds crazy unfair.  If your engineering kid can’t get a decent job out of undergrad it’s because there is an issue with your kid…an issue that grad school won’t solve.  So if I am your other kid I see that as you forking over $85k for nothing.

BTW any 1/2 decent kid gets any grad school for free in engineering…nearly all “decent” jobs will pay for it in the worst case.

I for the life of me don’t get why anyone is paying for law school or an MBA…those are choices which often turn out poorly and are often pursued not due to any particular passion but just a lost kid.[/quote]

Have you seen the job market recently?!?!?  Even engineering is hard to land jobs.  Companies are laying people off, not hiring.  And most companies do not pay for MS in engineering.

Also how is that not fair?  Kids know their education is fully paid for.  What they choose to use is up to them.  We provided all therapy and tutoring needs to get each kid at their best performance level.  One doesn't get more $$$ because they didn't need tutoring or intensive therapies as a ES/MS/HS student.

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