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[quote=Anonymous]Some of the help that we have given has probably pushed our retirement age further out by one or two years.

We give all help that we can to our children.  We also want to be self-sufficient and healthy in our retirement so that -
a) we continue getting our pretty great pension for a long time so that we can help our kids,  b) we are able to be a source of strength and be a fall-back plan for them, c) they don't have to do too much to help us, d) we can provide care, education and childcare for our grandkids and ease the tasks of maintaining a household, so that they can concentrate on family, work and health, d) we are financially self-sufficient and e) we can enjoy our old age and some of the wealth in doing the things that we like.

Our non-negotiables were -
- Our retirement
- Kids college

We have also been able to give (or planning to give) within reason the following LUXURIES.  - 
- Lavish wedding
- First new car
- Seed money for investing
- Set up for fully furnished first apartment 
- Down payment help for first residence

We are not taking away this money with us.  But, we also don't want to give it to our kids before we die. And we don't want to set up the expectation that we will live a miserable life to give them luxuries.  Nope.

Not depending on our children financially is the biggest financial gift we can give to them. 
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