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[quote=Anonymous]I have a friend like this and she's clearly high functioning, I've known her for decades. She's super organized and ambitious, can focus but also knows how to relax and have fun. She has two graduate degrees and had a reasonably successful corporate career (not a superstar or anything but like a functional corporate cog) before starting her own business. She basically just decided she has ADHD a few years ago. She self-diagnosed before getting a formal diagnosis, through a doctor she met with specifically to diagnose the ADHD. She takes meds and talks about her ADHD a lot now.

My personal opinion is that she is using ADHD to scapegoat some stuff that is actually totally normal. She didn't like working in a corporate environment. Yeah, well, join the club -- it sucks. People do it because the jobs are steady and have good benefits and tend to pay well. She got passed over for a big promotion a while back and I think it hit her hard -- she kind of hit the ceiling on her career. I think that's when she started getting this idea that there was "something wrong." She saw peers who were excelling where she was just kind of cruising. But I think that's a major lack of perspective -- most people are average, there's no reason to think that because you aren't a corporate superstar, you must have executive functioning issues.

Then she had a baby and started this business and that's when this narrative about executive functioning really started, and when she started taking meds. But she's not a mess and never was. I think she was just overwhelmed and was juggling a lot of stuff that would have made anyone stressed or feel like they were dropping the ball.

Now she talks all the time about what it's like to be a "person with ADHD." She views every quirk of her brain chemistry of being evidence of ADHD. She refers to "neurotypicals", including me, as people who just can't understand what it's like to live like she does. I really bristle at this because I think it reflect a really dysfunctional world view and it's also insulting. If I successfully juggle being a working mom, she takes it for granted like "well yes of course, you're neurotypical so that's easy for you." Except I struggle all the time, have dealt with anxiety and depression in the last few years (which she knows about), don't feel like I'm doing great at work, have insecurities about my parenting. But on the other hand, if she successfully juggles those things, everyone is suppose to be EXTRA impressed because she's "disabled." In the meantime, she's taking stimulant medication that helps her focus and get things done, whereas I'm just using lists and phone reminders and doing my best.

So yeah -- I don't really think she has ADHD. Or if she does, than so do I. And if I have ADHD, then so do most of the 40- and 50-something working moms I know, with the exception of a few who truly don't seem to struggle at all with the demands of this life. But that can't be right.[/quote]

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