Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.

+1

I am sick of people acting like it is diagnosed too often when it was not diagnosed ENOUGH in girls for many, many decades while boys received treatment just fine!

I am the oldest of 11 kids so when I was around 10, my mom wanted me to start helping around the house more than I already did (cleaning the kitchen every night and the house every day, cleaning bathrooms, putting younger siblings to bed, cooking meals, doing laundry, babysitting, etc). And so I tried but I really hated doing it. It was hard and I felt like I couldn’t push myself to do it even though I wanted to help out. My mom would shame me constantly and compare me to neighborhood kids or friends and say that they did all their chores and that I was a lazy useless little brat. I really thought I was lazy and did not know that it might’ve been executive function issues.

Later on in high school, I started helping out less and started focusing more on school and my social life. I felt guilty not doing anything often (especially while being 1 of only 3 girls in the family) and wanted to help or at least do one thing regularly like wash the dishes, but I just never remembered to and couldn’t do anything without being told to. At the same time, I was struggling with doing my homework and keeping my room clean. I did great in school and was just a super bad procrastinator, turned a lot of assignments in late, and never studied. I lost important things constantly, was forgetful, had a hard time paying attention, and constantly daydreamed.

So symptoms were definitely apparent and I struggled as a child and struggle a little now after years of achieving but I haven’t seeked out getting diagnosed. I really have a hard time accepting the fact that I might have ADHD and for a long time when I was younger, I was very ignorant and did not fully believe that it was real (Yes I know!). Now two of my kids are diagnosed and I realize how very similar I was to them as a child so I really don’t see the problem with people wanting to diagnose and treat their ADHD as adults to improve their lives.

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Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

This. Not one person on this thread has claimed ADHD isn't real. The question is why/how people who have a demonstrated history with high achievement that can only be accomplished via sustained executive function are suddenly getting ADHD diagnoses.

And it is sudden. Even 10 years ago, this wasn't a thing. Now I know a dozen people diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s and 40s, all with impressive resumes and graduate level educations. Of course people are going to ask questions about that trend. It doesn't make sense.

One issue is how you define “high achievement.” Someone can look like they are high achievers from the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on.

What does that even mean?

If some successfully graduates from high school, college, and law school with good grades, passes the bar, and works successfully as a lawyer for a number of years, they have achieved difficult academic and professional accomplishments that require a fairly high level of executive functioning.

ADHD is a chronic, debilitating disorder that disrupts executive functioning via some combination of the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ADHD exists on a spectrum with some people struggling more than others, but in order to qualify as ADHD, these symptoms must combine to actually impact the individuals ability to function normally. While all humans may experience these symptoms in some level and combination at some point in their lives, a person with ADHD has them persistently in a way that inhibits normal academic, professional, and social functioning.

Thus, if you are able to function not only normally but at a high degree of difficulty in your academic, professional, and social life for decades, you do not have ADHD. You may have other issues. You may be burned out at work, dealing with depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns, having a midlife crisis, or simply in the wrong career or relationships. But unless you have struggled to function at school, work, and socially due to ADHD symptoms for your entire life, you don't have ADHD.

On paper, my mom is a high-achieving professional (world-class) with family and friends. But in real life, she is such a freaking mess and has always been. She is extremely cognitively gifted and hyperfocused at work. My sibling and I, are less smart, and our ADHD is much more obvious, but we've been always "googd kids", and you'd never guess that mom is a all over the place at home. When younger, there were days when she just did not come from work because she was so hyperfocused on some interesting task. I won't list all the impulsive crap she did over the years, but I was much more tame as a teenager than she was at 40. Again, none of that would be obvious, and I'd never tell a soul. My dad is also a good partner for her, he forgives her impulsivity and goes along with her ideas. That is to say, my mom struggles everywhere, but you won't know based on the achievements.

This sounds like bipolar manía and/or personality issues. That’s the problem with calling everything “ADHD.”

The problem is in giving diagnosis on the internet. She is was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety by a professional at 60. And, given that my sibling and I were both independently diagnosed with ADHD, I’d rely on the professional opinion, not yours.

DP but as we've discussed, it can be exceedingly easy to be diagnosed with ADHD "by a professional" these days.

If your mom was diagnosed 15 years ago, I buy it. If it was within the last 5 years... it's a super trendy diagnosis and the idea of someone being diagnosed with a disorder that definitionally presents in early childhood makes me skeptical.

Who am I to pass judgment on your mom's diagnosis? No one. But don't go discussing it on the internet if you don't want people to weigh in.

Yes, my mistake of making an example of my mom. Yet, I don’t see where I invited anyone to weigh in her diagnosis?

Speaking of tbe diagnostics, the area made a big progress in ADHD detection and treatment in the past 15 years. Would you want to be examined for cancer using the current instruments or the ones that were used 15 years ago? Same here.

There has been virtually no advancement in "ADHD detection" in the last 15 years. Search for biomarkers? Failed. Comparing this to cancer is a joke. Of course cancer detection is better now than it was 15 years ago, cancer can be tested for via physical tests on bio material, and cancerous growths can be seen on scans. ADHD is diagnosed using a questionaire. Do you think today's questionnaire is groundbreakingly better than the one they used 15 years ago? It's not. In theory, a good diagnostician would also do a behavior analysis and a complete workup that examines whether there may be another medical explanation for the symptoms, but this virtually never happens when people are diagnosed as an adult. You do see this when kid's are diagnosed and it's common for physicians to observe the way the child behaves in the exam room and collect information from the child's parents about their behavior at home and at school. But with adults, doctors (or NPs as is often the case, usually people with no specialized knowledge about ADHD) simply take the word of adult requesting the prescription.

Treatment for ADHD is somewhat better than it used to be (far more options for both stimulant and non-stimulant medication, and pharmaceutical advances in how the medication is released into the system) but still very problematic. Stimulants do work but longterm studies indicate that the benefits dissipate with time, and other studies show that the side effects of stimulants are meaningful in the long term and lead many ADHD sufferers to skip or drop their meds altogether. There is also a trend of people choosing selectively to take meds when they "need" them and avoid them when they don't, which raises questions about what it means to have ADHD.

Can you point me at the discussion of the failed biomarker reasearch? I believe they found biomarkers but are not at the stage of usign them at scale.

What's wrong either the "ADHD detection" expression for you to put it in quotes?

I did a three-hour battery of tests followed by a bunch questionnaires and therapist report to get diagnosed with ADHD by a psychiatrist. I was 29.

"Stimulants do work but longterm studies indicate that the benefits dissipate with time, and other studies show that the side effects of stimulants are meaningful in the long term and lead many ADHD sufferers to skip or drop their meds altogether. " This contradcts by what my psychiatrist told me, and she's a research-practitioner.

People dropping their meds is a common problem in mental health treatment. Nothing specific to ADHD.

Anonymous wrote:What is your diagnosis? You clearly have one.

* personal diagnosis.

Not the armchair ones you deal out for others.

What is your diagnosis? You clearly have one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

I don’t know any of those people and you probably don’t either. Nobody wants, it jackass. It sucks.

I know several people who have self-diagnosed their ADHD. It's a known phenomenon: https://www.news-medical.net/news/20250325/TikTok-fuels-ADHD-self-diagnosis-with-misleading-content-study-shows.aspx#:~:text=TikTok%20fuels%20ADHD%20self%2Ddiagnosis%20with%20misleading%20content%2C%20study%20shows,-Download%20PDF%20Copy&text=A%20new%20study%20reveals%20that,flags%20among%20mental%20health%20experts.&text=A%20recent%20PLOS%20ONE%20study,health%20professionals%20and%20young%20adults.

There has also been a proliferation of online Telehealth websites that not only offer ADHD diagnosis online but focus on it. Groups like ADHDAdvisor and Cerebral specialize in providing diagnosis, and importantly prescriptions, for ADHD to adults. None of these services perform differential diagnosis (where they actually look to see if there might be another cause for your symptoms) or full workups. You will have one or two Telehealth appointments, often with a nurse practitioner who may have minimal experience rather than a physician, and then you get your scrip.

One of the major reasons ADHD meds have been in short supply in recent years is because of the explosion of adult ADHD diagnoses via these orgs, which I would describe as prescription mills but but which I've heard actual doctors refer to as drug dealers.

A lot of people "want" ADHD these days. Not really, like not actual ADHD which is debilitating, but the label of ADHD which they can treat as a get-out-of-jail-free card for a broad range of behaviors, and which will get them access to stimulant medication they will then use selectively and potentially irresponsibly for a problem they don't actually even have.

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Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

This. Not one person on this thread has claimed ADHD isn't real. The question is why/how people who have a demonstrated history with high achievement that can only be accomplished via sustained executive function are suddenly getting ADHD diagnoses.

And it is sudden. Even 10 years ago, this wasn't a thing. Now I know a dozen people diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s and 40s, all with impressive resumes and graduate level educations. Of course people are going to ask questions about that trend. It doesn't make sense.

One issue is how you define “high achievement.” Someone can look like they are high achievers from the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on.

What does that even mean?

If some successfully graduates from high school, college, and law school with good grades, passes the bar, and works successfully as a lawyer for a number of years, they have achieved difficult academic and professional accomplishments that require a fairly high level of executive functioning.

ADHD is a chronic, debilitating disorder that disrupts executive functioning via some combination of the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ADHD exists on a spectrum with some people struggling more than others, but in order to qualify as ADHD, these symptoms must combine to actually impact the individuals ability to function normally. While all humans may experience these symptoms in some level and combination at some point in their lives, a person with ADHD has them persistently in a way that inhibits normal academic, professional, and social functioning.

Thus, if you are able to function not only normally but at a high degree of difficulty in your academic, professional, and social life for decades, you do not have ADHD. You may have other issues. You may be burned out at work, dealing with depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns, having a midlife crisis, or simply in the wrong career or relationships. But unless you have struggled to function at school, work, and socially due to ADHD symptoms for your entire life, you don't have ADHD.

On paper, my mom is a high-achieving professional (world-class) with family and friends. But in real life, she is such a freaking mess and has always been. She is extremely cognitively gifted and hyperfocused at work. My sibling and I, are less smart, and our ADHD is much more obvious, but we've been always "googd kids", and you'd never guess that mom is a all over the place at home. When younger, there were days when she just did not come from work because she was so hyperfocused on some interesting task. I won't list all the impulsive crap she did over the years, but I was much more tame as a teenager than she was at 40. Again, none of that would be obvious, and I'd never tell a soul. My dad is also a good partner for her, he forgives her impulsivity and goes along with her ideas. That is to say, my mom struggles everywhere, but you won't know based on the achievements.

This sounds like bipolar manía and/or personality issues. That’s the problem with calling everything “ADHD.”

The problem is in giving diagnosis on the internet. She is was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety by a professional at 60. And, given that my sibling and I were both independently diagnosed with ADHD, I’d rely on the professional opinion, not yours.

DP but as we've discussed, it can be exceedingly easy to be diagnosed with ADHD "by a professional" these days.

If your mom was diagnosed 15 years ago, I buy it. If it was within the last 5 years... it's a super trendy diagnosis and the idea of someone being diagnosed with a disorder that definitionally presents in early childhood makes me skeptical.

Who am I to pass judgment on your mom's diagnosis? No one. But don't go discussing it on the internet if you don't want people to weigh in.

Yes, my mistake of making an example of my mom. Yet, I don’t see where I invited anyone to weigh in her diagnosis?

Speaking of tbe diagnostics, the area made a big progress in ADHD detection and treatment in the past 15 years. Would you want to be examined for cancer using the current instruments or the ones that were used 15 years ago? Same here.

There has been virtually no advancement in "ADHD detection" in the last 15 years. Search for biomarkers? Failed. Comparing this to cancer is a joke. Of course cancer detection is better now than it was 15 years ago, cancer can be tested for via physical tests on bio material, and cancerous growths can be seen on scans. ADHD is diagnosed using a questionaire. Do you think today's questionnaire is groundbreakingly better than the one they used 15 years ago? It's not. In theory, a good diagnostician would also do a behavior analysis and a complete workup that examines whether there may be another medical explanation for the symptoms, but this virtually never happens when people are diagnosed as an adult. You do see this when kid's are diagnosed and it's common for physicians to observe the way the child behaves in the exam room and collect information from the child's parents about their behavior at home and at school. But with adults, doctors (or NPs as is often the case, usually people with no specialized knowledge about ADHD) simply take the word of adult requesting the prescription.

Treatment for ADHD is somewhat better than it used to be (far more options for both stimulant and non-stimulant medication, and pharmaceutical advances in how the medication is released into the system) but still very problematic. Stimulants do work but longterm studies indicate that the benefits dissipate with time, and other studies show that the side effects of stimulants are meaningful in the long term and lead many ADHD sufferers to skip or drop their meds altogether. There is also a trend of people choosing selectively to take meds when they "need" them and avoid them when they don't, which raises questions about what it means to have ADHD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

This. Not one person on this thread has claimed ADHD isn't real. The question is why/how people who have a demonstrated history with high achievement that can only be accomplished via sustained executive function are suddenly getting ADHD diagnoses.

And it is sudden. Even 10 years ago, this wasn't a thing. Now I know a dozen people diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s and 40s, all with impressive resumes and graduate level educations. Of course people are going to ask questions about that trend. It doesn't make sense.

One issue is how you define “high achievement.” Someone can look like they are high achievers from the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on.

What does that even mean?

If some successfully graduates from high school, college, and law school with good grades, passes the bar, and works successfully as a lawyer for a number of years, they have achieved difficult academic and professional accomplishments that require a fairly high level of executive functioning.

ADHD is a chronic, debilitating disorder that disrupts executive functioning via some combination of the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ADHD exists on a spectrum with some people struggling more than others, but in order to qualify as ADHD, these symptoms must combine to actually impact the individuals ability to function normally. While all humans may experience these symptoms in some level and combination at some point in their lives, a person with ADHD has them persistently in a way that inhibits normal academic, professional, and social functioning.

Thus, if you are able to function not only normally but at a high degree of difficulty in your academic, professional, and social life for decades, you do not have ADHD. You may have other issues. You may be burned out at work, dealing with depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns, having a midlife crisis, or simply in the wrong career or relationships. But unless you have struggled to function at school, work, and socially due to ADHD symptoms for your entire life, you don't have ADHD.

On paper, my mom is a high-achieving professional (world-class) with family and friends. But in real life, she is such a freaking mess and has always been. She is extremely cognitively gifted and hyperfocused at work. My sibling and I, are less smart, and our ADHD is much more obvious, but we've been always "googd kids", and you'd never guess that mom is a all over the place at home. When younger, there were days when she just did not come from work because she was so hyperfocused on some interesting task. I won't list all the impulsive crap she did over the years, but I was much more tame as a teenager than she was at 40. Again, none of that would be obvious, and I'd never tell a soul. My dad is also a good partner for her, he forgives her impulsivity and goes along with her ideas. That is to say, my mom struggles everywhere, but you won't know based on the achievements.

This sounds like bipolar manía and/or personality issues. That’s the problem with calling everything “ADHD.”

The problem is in giving diagnosis on the internet. She is was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety by a professional at 60. And, given that my sibling and I were both independently diagnosed with ADHD, I’d rely on the professional opinion, not yours.

DP but as we've discussed, it can be exceedingly easy to be diagnosed with ADHD "by a professional" these days.

If your mom was diagnosed 15 years ago, I buy it. If it was within the last 5 years... it's a super trendy diagnosis and the idea of someone being diagnosed with a disorder that definitionally presents in early childhood makes me skeptical.

Who am I to pass judgment on your mom's diagnosis? No one. But don't go discussing it on the internet if you don't want people to weigh in.

Yes, my mistake of making an example of my mom. Yet, I don’t see where I invited anyone to weigh in her diagnosis?

Speaking of tbe diagnostics, the area made a big progress in ADHD detection and treatment in the past 15 years. Would you want to be examined for cancer using the current instruments or the ones that were used 15 years ago? Same here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is this. Why does it matter?

Why does it matter if people are being incorrectly diagnosed for a disorder and prescribed stimulant medication which, oh by the way, is tightly controlled and often in short supply? Why does it matter that a group of high functioning adults are suddenly using ADHD as an excuse for thing like "being rude" or "not wanting to do things no one wants to do"? Why does it matter that people who don't have ADHD are trying to make themselves the poster children for a real disorder that can be debilitating for the kids and adults who actually have it and have struggled with it their entire lives?

Hmmm, I can think of reasons it matters.

None of this is happening. I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through, but you’re not some hero defending people with “real” ADHD and you don’t get to say who has it and who does it unless you’re a clinician and they are your patient. Mind your own damn business.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

I don’t know any of those people and you probably don’t either. Nobody wants, it jackass. It sucks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

This. Not one person on this thread has claimed ADHD isn't real. The question is why/how people who have a demonstrated history with high achievement that can only be accomplished via sustained executive function are suddenly getting ADHD diagnoses.

And it is sudden. Even 10 years ago, this wasn't a thing. Now I know a dozen people diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s and 40s, all with impressive resumes and graduate level educations. Of course people are going to ask questions about that trend. It doesn't make sense.

One issue is how you define “high achievement.” Someone can look like they are high achievers from the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on.

What does that even mean?

If some successfully graduates from high school, college, and law school with good grades, passes the bar, and works successfully as a lawyer for a number of years, they have achieved difficult academic and professional accomplishments that require a fairly high level of executive functioning.

ADHD is a chronic, debilitating disorder that disrupts executive functioning via some combination of the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ADHD exists on a spectrum with some people struggling more than others, but in order to qualify as ADHD, these symptoms must combine to actually impact the individuals ability to function normally. While all humans may experience these symptoms in some level and combination at some point in their lives, a person with ADHD has them persistently in a way that inhibits normal academic, professional, and social functioning.

Thus, if you are able to function not only normally but at a high degree of difficulty in your academic, professional, and social life for decades, you do not have ADHD. You may have other issues. You may be burned out at work, dealing with depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns, having a midlife crisis, or simply in the wrong career or relationships. But unless you have struggled to function at school, work, and socially due to ADHD symptoms for your entire life, you don't have ADHD.

On paper, my mom is a high-achieving professional (world-class) with family and friends. But in real life, she is such a freaking mess and has always been. She is extremely cognitively gifted and hyperfocused at work. My sibling and I, are less smart, and our ADHD is much more obvious, but we've been always "googd kids", and you'd never guess that mom is a all over the place at home. When younger, there were days when she just did not come from work because she was so hyperfocused on some interesting task. I won't list all the impulsive crap she did over the years, but I was much more tame as a teenager than she was at 40. Again, none of that would be obvious, and I'd never tell a soul. My dad is also a good partner for her, he forgives her impulsivity and goes along with her ideas. That is to say, my mom struggles everywhere, but you won't know based on the achievements.

This sounds like bipolar manía and/or personality issues. That’s the problem with calling everything “ADHD.”

The problem is in giving diagnosis on the internet. She is was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety by a professional at 60. And, given that my sibling and I were both independently diagnosed with ADHD, I’d rely on the professional opinion, not yours.

DP but as we've discussed, it can be exceedingly easy to be diagnosed with ADHD "by a professional" these days.

If your mom was diagnosed 15 years ago, I buy it. If it was within the last 5 years... it's a super trendy diagnosis and the idea of someone being diagnosed with a disorder that definitionally presents in early childhood makes me skeptical.

Who am I to pass judgment on your mom's diagnosis? No one. But don't go discussing it on the internet if you don't want people to weigh in.

By all means, keep trying to tear down and delegitimize ADHDers’ experience with your weird jealousy or whatever it is that’s making you judge other people instead of looking inward. Want me to diagnose you with NPD or low IQ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

This. Not one person on this thread has claimed ADHD isn't real. The question is why/how people who have a demonstrated history with high achievement that can only be accomplished via sustained executive function are suddenly getting ADHD diagnoses.

And it is sudden. Even 10 years ago, this wasn't a thing. Now I know a dozen people diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s and 40s, all with impressive resumes and graduate level educations. Of course people are going to ask questions about that trend. It doesn't make sense.

One issue is how you define “high achievement.” Someone can look like they are high achievers from the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on.

What does that even mean?

If some successfully graduates from high school, college, and law school with good grades, passes the bar, and works successfully as a lawyer for a number of years, they have achieved difficult academic and professional accomplishments that require a fairly high level of executive functioning.

ADHD is a chronic, debilitating disorder that disrupts executive functioning via some combination of the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ADHD exists on a spectrum with some people struggling more than others, but in order to qualify as ADHD, these symptoms must combine to actually impact the individuals ability to function normally. While all humans may experience these symptoms in some level and combination at some point in their lives, a person with ADHD has them persistently in a way that inhibits normal academic, professional, and social functioning.

Thus, if you are able to function not only normally but at a high degree of difficulty in your academic, professional, and social life for decades, you do not have ADHD. You may have other issues. You may be burned out at work, dealing with depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns, having a midlife crisis, or simply in the wrong career or relationships. But unless you have struggled to function at school, work, and socially due to ADHD symptoms for your entire life, you don't have ADHD.

On paper, my mom is a high-achieving professional (world-class) with family and friends. But in real life, she is such a freaking mess and has always been. She is extremely cognitively gifted and hyperfocused at work. My sibling and I, are less smart, and our ADHD is much more obvious, but we've been always "googd kids", and you'd never guess that mom is a all over the place at home. When younger, there were days when she just did not come from work because she was so hyperfocused on some interesting task. I won't list all the impulsive crap she did over the years, but I was much more tame as a teenager than she was at 40. Again, none of that would be obvious, and I'd never tell a soul. My dad is also a good partner for her, he forgives her impulsivity and goes along with her ideas. That is to say, my mom struggles everywhere, but you won't know based on the achievements.

This sounds like bipolar manía and/or personality issues. That’s the problem with calling everything “ADHD.”

The problem is in giving diagnosis on the internet. She is was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety by a professional at 60. And, given that my sibling and I were both independently diagnosed with ADHD, I’d rely on the professional opinion, not yours.

DP but as we've discussed, it can be exceedingly easy to be diagnosed with ADHD "by a professional" these days.

If your mom was diagnosed 15 years ago, I buy it. If it was within the last 5 years... it's a super trendy diagnosis and the idea of someone being diagnosed with a disorder that definitionally presents in early childhood makes me skeptical.

Who am I to pass judgment on your mom's diagnosis? No one. But don't go discussing it on the internet if you don't want people to weigh in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

This. Not one person on this thread has claimed ADHD isn't real. The question is why/how people who have a demonstrated history with high achievement that can only be accomplished via sustained executive function are suddenly getting ADHD diagnoses.

And it is sudden. Even 10 years ago, this wasn't a thing. Now I know a dozen people diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s and 40s, all with impressive resumes and graduate level educations. Of course people are going to ask questions about that trend. It doesn't make sense.

One issue is how you define “high achievement.” Someone can look like they are high achievers from the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on.

What does that even mean?

If some successfully graduates from high school, college, and law school with good grades, passes the bar, and works successfully as a lawyer for a number of years, they have achieved difficult academic and professional accomplishments that require a fairly high level of executive functioning.

ADHD is a chronic, debilitating disorder that disrupts executive functioning via some combination of the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ADHD exists on a spectrum with some people struggling more than others, but in order to qualify as ADHD, these symptoms must combine to actually impact the individuals ability to function normally. While all humans may experience these symptoms in some level and combination at some point in their lives, a person with ADHD has them persistently in a way that inhibits normal academic, professional, and social functioning.

Thus, if you are able to function not only normally but at a high degree of difficulty in your academic, professional, and social life for decades, you do not have ADHD. You may have other issues. You may be burned out at work, dealing with depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns, having a midlife crisis, or simply in the wrong career or relationships. But unless you have struggled to function at school, work, and socially due to ADHD symptoms for your entire life, you don't have ADHD.

On paper, my mom is a high-achieving professional (world-class) with family and friends. But in real life, she is such a freaking mess and has always been. She is extremely cognitively gifted and hyperfocused at work. My sibling and I, are less smart, and our ADHD is much more obvious, but we've been always "googd kids", and you'd never guess that mom is a all over the place at home. When younger, there were days when she just did not come from work because she was so hyperfocused on some interesting task. I won't list all the impulsive crap she did over the years, but I was much more tame as a teenager than she was at 40. Again, none of that would be obvious, and I'd never tell a soul. My dad is also a good partner for her, he forgives her impulsivity and goes along with her ideas. That is to say, my mom struggles everywhere, but you won't know based on the achievements.

This sounds like bipolar manía and/or personality issues. That’s the problem with calling everything “ADHD.”

The problem is in giving diagnosis on the internet. She is was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety by a professional at 60. And, given that my sibling and I were both independently diagnosed with ADHD, I’d rely on the professional opinion, not yours.

I have a friend like this and she's clearly high functioning, I've known her for decades. She's super organized and ambitious, can focus but also knows how to relax and have fun. She has two graduate degrees and had a reasonably successful corporate career (not a superstar or anything but like a functional corporate cog) before starting her own business. She basically just decided she has ADHD a few years ago. She self-diagnosed before getting a formal diagnosis, through a doctor she met with specifically to diagnose the ADHD. She takes meds and talks about her ADHD a lot now.

My personal opinion is that she is using ADHD to scapegoat some stuff that is actually totally normal. She didn't like working in a corporate environment. Yeah, well, join the club -- it sucks. People do it because the jobs are steady and have good benefits and tend to pay well. She got passed over for a big promotion a while back and I think it hit her hard -- she kind of hit the ceiling on her career. I think that's when she started getting this idea that there was "something wrong." She saw peers who were excelling where she was just kind of cruising. But I think that's a major lack of perspective -- most people are average, there's no reason to think that because you aren't a corporate superstar, you must have executive functioning issues.

Then she had a baby and started this business and that's when this narrative about executive functioning really started, and when she started taking meds. But she's not a mess and never was. I think she was just overwhelmed and was juggling a lot of stuff that would have made anyone stressed or feel like they were dropping the ball.

Now she talks all the time about what it's like to be a "person with ADHD." She views every quirk of her brain chemistry of being evidence of ADHD. She refers to "neurotypicals", including me, as people who just can't understand what it's like to live like she does. I really bristle at this because I think it reflect a really dysfunctional world view and it's also insulting. If I successfully juggle being a working mom, she takes it for granted like "well yes of course, you're neurotypical so that's easy for you." Except I struggle all the time, have dealt with anxiety and depression in the last few years (which she knows about), don't feel like I'm doing great at work, have insecurities about my parenting. But on the other hand, if she successfully juggles those things, everyone is suppose to be EXTRA impressed because she's "disabled." In the meantime, she's taking stimulant medication that helps her focus and get things done, whereas I'm just using lists and phone reminders and doing my best.

So yeah -- I don't really think she has ADHD. Or if she does, than so do I. And if I have ADHD, then so do most of the 40- and 50-something working moms I know, with the exception of a few who truly don't seem to struggle at all with the demands of this life. But that can't be right.

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Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

This. Not one person on this thread has claimed ADHD isn't real. The question is why/how people who have a demonstrated history with high achievement that can only be accomplished via sustained executive function are suddenly getting ADHD diagnoses.

And it is sudden. Even 10 years ago, this wasn't a thing. Now I know a dozen people diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s and 40s, all with impressive resumes and graduate level educations. Of course people are going to ask questions about that trend. It doesn't make sense.

One issue is how you define “high achievement.” Someone can look like they are high achievers from the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on.

What does that even mean?

If some successfully graduates from high school, college, and law school with good grades, passes the bar, and works successfully as a lawyer for a number of years, they have achieved difficult academic and professional accomplishments that require a fairly high level of executive functioning.

ADHD is a chronic, debilitating disorder that disrupts executive functioning via some combination of the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ADHD exists on a spectrum with some people struggling more than others, but in order to qualify as ADHD, these symptoms must combine to actually impact the individuals ability to function normally. While all humans may experience these symptoms in some level and combination at some point in their lives, a person with ADHD has them persistently in a way that inhibits normal academic, professional, and social functioning.

Thus, if you are able to function not only normally but at a high degree of difficulty in your academic, professional, and social life for decades, you do not have ADHD. You may have other issues. You may be burned out at work, dealing with depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns, having a midlife crisis, or simply in the wrong career or relationships. But unless you have struggled to function at school, work, and socially due to ADHD symptoms for your entire life, you don't have ADHD.

On paper, my mom is a high-achieving professional (world-class) with family and friends. But in real life, she is such a freaking mess and has always been. She is extremely cognitively gifted and hyperfocused at work. My sibling and I, are less smart, and our ADHD is much more obvious, but we've been always "googd kids", and you'd never guess that mom is a all over the place at home. When younger, there were days when she just did not come from work because she was so hyperfocused on some interesting task. I won't list all the impulsive crap she did over the years, but I was much more tame as a teenager than she was at 40. Again, none of that would be obvious, and I'd never tell a soul. My dad is also a good partner for her, he forgives her impulsivity and goes along with her ideas. That is to say, my mom struggles everywhere, but you won't know based on the achievements.

This sounds like bipolar manía and/or personality issues. That’s the problem with calling everything “ADHD.”