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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  This thread was a bit hijacked by the person with the father who had multiple relationships.   I am truly sorry that you are stuck in this situation,  but my life and my boyfriend are very different from yours.

I actually have a  good relationship with my boyfriend's daughter and perhaps I didn't relay this here correctly.   I am just trying to understand her a bit and receive feedback from others, but if things remain the way they are now,  then it will be fine.  She has a Mom and her Mom and Dad will be there for all her special events.   I don't ever want to be in the middle of this.  I don't know what the future holds,  but I will continue to treat her nicely and I will also be there for her if she ever needs me. Who knows...  I may be the one left someday and I would most definitely keep in touch and make sure that she feels cared for (as well as her sibling).  I know loss and pain being widowed and losing dear family members.   Sometimes having extended family can be wonderful.   My boyfriend's ex-wife actually likes me.

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OP, I totally agree.  I am generally against blending families and dating men with complicated daughters, but your situation may work since all the kids are out of the house, and you have a lot of empathy and probably as good a relationship as anyone can have with your boyfriend's adult daughter.  The most relevant advice you're getting is not to get legally married because there is too much risk of it setting you back financially, especially as you and your boyfriend age.  If he needs end-of-life help first, you could end up spending your entire nest egg on his care and have nothing left for yourself, and then become a burden to your own child, which I'm sure you don't want.  Just be a couple or say you are engaged, but don't get married.  [/quote]

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