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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because it’s not actually about the food. It’s about control. [/quote]

+1
Sounds to me it's more about the food for DH; but more about control for the grandparents.
Some compromise needs to be made - and compromise requires concessions from both sides. Make an agreement with the grandparents: for example, no soda and fast food no more than once a week or whatever. If they can't abide by that, they don't get responsibility for/to see the kids more than once a week. Meanwhile, almond dad agrees to lighten up and remind himself daily that the great majority of your kids' food consumption is pretty healthy and worthy of his approval. Also, you and he together non-chalantly on a daily basis reinforce healthy habits by what you eat, what you serve, reminding your kids of an acceptable balance of "good" v "bad" foods (80%, 20% - or whatever you decide), etc.

Your husband also has to accept that no matter what he and you do as parents, your kids are going to be away from you outside the house more and more as they get older and will be making their own choices. His dictatorial rigid approach will absolutely backfire. It's good that you and he are accepting of the occasional exceptions to the rules. Your parents need to meet you at least halfway.[/quote]

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