Reply to Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got a text from my mom out of the blue with the information to pay the remaining balance off of a loan she took out for my undergraduate education. Due to a divorce and bad financial decisions, she says that she can no longer pay it and now expects me to pay it since I’m starting a new job. I’m happy to help contribute but she expects me to pay starting next month and since she hasn’t made payments in a year - she’s not sure the full balance and says vaguely that she paid 1000k monthly at one point. I’m super upset that she sprung this up on me and she claims it’s always been the plan. Does anyone else think this is unreasonable? We have a decent HHI but two kids in daycare and my husband’s student loans. [/quote]

That's your loan. Period. [/quote]

Wrong. If op didn’t sign for it, it’s not their loan.[/quote]

+1
Especially, if the parent was stupid enough to take any loan from the "Parent Plus" plan.   Before you start paying, find out whose name is on the actual loan.  Do not rely entirely on the website to find this information. Call and get the copy of the paperwork.  Do not go by getting just a text.  Ask your mom for the entire paperwork.  She could be also hoodwinking you.   Also, talk to your dad about it and get the paperwork.  No need to get angry. You need to protect yourself and your family and have a clear idea whose loan it was.

Also, if the loan is in your name and the interest rates are not great, find out if you can negotiate better terms, or borrow from another place with lower interest rates and then pay it off.  Can you pay from a credit card that has good cashbacks or can earn you some benefits (like frequent flyer miles or points?)

Finally, do what you need to do to go on a strict budget and live below your means.  If it means a drastic cut in your lifestyle - so be it.  You also seem to be one hot mess with your personal finances.  Please follow Dave Ramsey and get out of debt and your poverty.  Don't become a sad American story. Do it for your kids. [/quote]

Agree with the first two paragraphs but definitely not the last. Two working parents in the midst of daycare payments? Seriously? That's when middle class people are at their most stretched! I don't know anyone who isn't at that stage in their lives! You're living in a bubble if you think everyone has a magic pot of money to dip into when they're younger.

If this loan is not in her name, then OP had MUCH BETTER put money in her own kids' college account than pay off this parent loan.

Don't perpetuate the cycle. The key here is creating a financial plan for OP's parent, because I bet this goes way beyond this loan. The parent is probably going to depend on OP and family for the rest of her life. Paying back this loan is actually NOT the priority.

[/quote]

I agree with you.  Disagree with your sympathy with the woes of two working parents in the midst of daycare payments statement.  Yes, this is absolutely horrible time for middle class parents with young kids who are stretched and I have also gone through this terrible phase of genteel poverty where money issues are foremost on your mind at all times.

The reality is that you cannot wait for the day when your HHI will increase in the future to handle your current money issues, because these will compound with every passing day.  You have to be willing to save money for future, and pay off debt  - with the low earnings that you are making today. If it requires that OP and DH eat rice and beans for a year, cut off all subscriptions, carpool, take in laundry for others, sell off stuff from their home on FB marketplace, shop at Aldis, shop consignments, take in a roommate ...they should absolutely do that.

DH and I paid off 50K in college loans 2 years after graduating.  Combined HHI was only 75K.  We lived with roommates, we cooked from scratch, we carpooled, we did not go to eat out, we did not buy clothes and shoes unless it was to replace them for work.   I understand that this is not possible with two kids.  But, OP's HHI is decent and she can do it.

Trust me, the world opens up when you are debt-free. [/quote]

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