Reply to Social Media to Blame for Estrangement?

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[quote=Anonymous]Estrangement has been around forever-plenty of estrangements in my family on both sides, it just wasn't discussed much. Now there is less stigma.

Also, I suspect estrangement has not caused more suffering, it has just transferred it. The person who finally gave up and parted ways often spent years trying tips and strategies to have a healthier relationship and nothing worked. Eventually there is relief, calm, peace. Now the person who got cut off has to deal with their demons rather than offload.

In my case I am low contact. I spent years in therapy trying tips. My whole childhood I tried to please mom and be what she needed but the requirements kept changing. In adulthood once I had enough of my own life stress I could no longer brush off tantrums, insults, threats, etc. I kept stepping back until we found a comfort zone. At one point she cut me off and it was so calm and refreshing.

She got therapy and went on meds and we could have a relationship until she went off them both, because "that's for crazies!" so we are low contact and I don't allow anymore fits of rage.

Like another poster, nobody would suspect behind closed doors in childhood what was really happening and I didn't realize just how emotionally and verbally abusive she was until I heard myself talking about it. "You mean it's not normal for someone to wave around a butcher knife and make threats?"[/quote]

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