Reply to DW doesn’t want my mother to move in with us.

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "DW doesn’t want my mother to move in with us."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think this post is real. OP never came back to give details and I think it is meant to stir up wife over mother drama. However, I will play along. Things like this needs to be talked about. My husband and I talked about this before marrying, while engaged. We wanted to make sure we were both on the same page. Luckily, we both agree that we will be taking our parents in. It is important to us. Financially, it also makes sense. In addition, my husband works from home and some flexibility in his schedule and I am a teacher and have summers off so that is a help too. We would do an assisted living home only if necessary. But do what works for everyone including the one that needs care. They need a say too.[/quote]

Have you actually taken your parents in? Or are you just talking about it so you can brag to everyone how generous and loving you are?  [/quote]

Key is here that this has been discussed and both partners agree on taking parents in well ahead of time. In OPs case, mother’s needs are imminent and it doesn’t sound like a discussion had been had previously. This is a basic values issue that should have been sorted out long before the actual need arose.

My best friend is a woman in her 70s. Her daughter and her SIL have purchased a house that can easily be converted to have an IL unit if and when the time is right. In the mean time, their college aged kids have a lot of extra space for friends and the like. His parents will be going with his brother and SIL. Finances are open and sorted out. It’s brilliant, really. [/quote]

As I asked above, has that poster (you?) actually lived with their parents at any point? Or are they just discussing it and ‘sorting it out’ beforehand without any actual experience? It’s very easy to pat oneself on the back when you haven’t actually had the lived experience of OP or many of the other people that have already experienced it. Good for you for judging OP and the other posters that have different lived experiences and situations. You have no clue what anyone else’s life is like and judging them for not ‘sorting it out beforehand’. 
I’ve actually had my parents and sibling move in with my spouse and kids at different times, and it very nearly destroyed my marriage and had long term emotional impact on my children. Maybe that’s selfish of me to focus on my kids and not center my parents forever. 
 But now everyone has a healthier relationship with just a little distance. Obviously some people don’t have a choice but to live together but I’m sure those people that are actually experiencing this instead of ‘discussing it beforehand’ would tell you [b]it’s not as easy as just talking about it with your spouse and patting yourself on the back about how generous you are.[/b]
[/quote]

You couldn't be more right. And the smugness about it is both naive and rude, but some people are just like that, I guess.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics