Reply to DW doesn’t want my mother to move in with us.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Get an apartment near your house and live there with your mother. You can still spend a lot of time at your family home with your wife. [/quote]

This is 100% what I'd tell my DH to do.  He and his sister could trade off.  But there is NO WAY I'd let one of his parents move into our home.  One is anxiety ridden and one is insanely critical.  Neither are flexible. [b] I'd be fine if that meant he needed to spend less time with me to care for them.  But *I* will not be doing their care.
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My parents are much easier people, and I still would not move them in either.  So there's that.[/quote]

Exactly. Honestly, there is very little that would be worse for the woman involved than having the MIL moved into the home. Even taking on all of the childcare with a lower income for the family would not be as much work -- and more importantly, not as unacknowledged, unappreciated, and both mentally and physically stressful.

The real trick is that people who don't do caregiving are very quick to minimize how much is involved, and yet also will contort into pretzels not to do it themselves. Or, at the least, say they will do the work but magically disappear for those times. [/quote]

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