Reply to Why do men rob you of your sparkle?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Why do men rob you of your sparkle?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Today during therapy my therapist mentioned I’m very monotone and unemotional, and that I should work on expressing my happiness and emotion more.

I was reflecting back on why, because I wasn’t always like this, and I realized it’s from my xH. He was initially attracted to me because I was vibrant, outgoing, and fun to be around, but over the years he got so critical of what I wore, how I acted, how I spoke, etc that I just got rid of all personality altogether so he’d have nothing to be critical about.

I talked with some friends and I’m not alone in this. Most women have dated or been married to the guy who immediately tried to stomp out all their sparkle and personality.

Why are men like this? Why date someone who you’re just going to try to change into an emotionless, personality-devoid zombie?[/quote]

My 9 yo said the same thing when she glanced through a box of photos of me in my 20s and early 30s. Wow mom, you were smiling a lot and even with dad!

So exhausted of holding down the fort and doing everything for no nothing back. [/quote]

I believe this.

Make sure your kid(s) know it’s not their fault. [/quote]

One reason (of many) that I knew it was time to kick my DH out was that my daughter (who was like maybe 3 at the time) told me that I looked very sad one day as I was buckling her into her car seat.  I almost pasted on a fake smile and told her "I'm not sad honey, every thing is fine."  But, I realized in the moment, that I would be teaching my child that sad looks don't really mean sad people and that would make her tremendously confused as she grew up.  Instead, I sad that it was so grey and cloudy out that it was making me feel a little blue.

I was sad because I was actively planning in my head how to engineer the situation so I could break up with my DH and force him to leave the house by the end of the week and what kind of custody schedule would be safe and what kind of child support I would ask him for.

It is really important (and hard) to make sure your kids understand that they are not responsible for their Mom's mood, and that they are not responsible for their Dad's lack of commitment as a parent and partner.  (It was hard enough to get myself, a grown woman, to understand that I was not responsible for, nor could I change his choices.) [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics