Reply to Which all-girls school has the mean girls

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know they are almost everywhere, but where is this pervasive?[/quote]

Boys and girls can be equally mean for the record.

We have friends at a variety of private schools in the DC, MD, VA area. The most common theme I hear from friends at all of these schools including ours is that the schools that have a very high percentage of parents that belong to either Chevy or Congo tend to also have a very distinct culture of mean kid/mean parent behavior. Yes, mean parents tend to have mean kids and for whatever reason those families and parents tend to cluster together in a very unhealthy way. [/quote]

Agree. The 8th grade class at SR has a large number of girls whose families belong to Congo or Chevy. It seems the girls have learned their elitist/exclusive behavior from their moms. [/quote]

Agree with all of this. Boys can also be very cruel and always get a pass.  It seems that in addition to the country club culture, you find especially mean kids in Lacrosse. The kids of both create a culture of exclusivity that usually extends from their parents behavior.

Also the 10th grade class at SR is chock full of mean girls. Several girls switched schools because the bullying was so bad. Heard the same about 9th and now 8th too, something toxic is going on over there in the SR school culture. [/quote]

DP. It is the parents. Some of the same parents have kids at STA or used to have kids at STA and other schools like Visi and Holy Child and they have the same issues there. The schools will not tell you.

Op my advice for you is you have to sort of ask around to people you trust. It is difficult to ask and get an honest answer because most do not want to get involved with talking about this sort of thing. That is when this site comes in handy because you may get some insight that you will not get in person from others who understandably do not want to engage. [/quote]

As a parent at a school with a toxic boy culture but thankfully truly lovely girls in my kid’s grade, I would caution you from thinking you might get an honest answer about school culture form anyone but a sibling or your very best friend. I thought I would be honest about my kid’s school if asked, but once I was, I changed my mind. As much as I’ve wanted to discourage people from applying into bad cohorts at my kid’s school, I’ve thought twice about it because of the potential consequences of honesty. People have to find this out on their own, especially because everyone perceives this stuff differently.  Also, private schools are small universes and once you start overlapping with clubs and other schools, you realize that you can’t risk honesty. Schools and mean families know this and thrive because the stakes of telling the truth are too high.

We are moving our kid to a “lesser” school this year because we’ve had it with all of this.[/quote]

Highschool? [/quote]

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