Reply to Which all-girls school has the mean girls

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

You'd be hard pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira.

Hard-pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira?  There are mean girls at Madeira, just not as many as at some schools.  Someone is obviously drinking the Madeira Kool-Aid and also smoking something while she drinks.[/quote]

I dunno, PP. My daughter, who is quite sensitive and has definitely seen mean girl behaviors at her K-8, says that she has absolutely not met any mean girls at Madeira. She is rather in awe of that, actually. [/quote]

From what I understand, there are some students who can be kinda annoying or snotty, but I haven't heard about any "mean girl" behavior. If it does happen it's not super common. 
[/quote]

I don't have experience at Madeira, but I think the distinction being made here is important.

There are mean kids (not just girls) everywhere, private or public. Some kids are snotty or rude, some are entitled, etc. You aren't going to find a school where there is just no behavior like this at all. Just like all schools have shy kids, or kids who love to talk, or competitive kids, or whatever. These are just personality traits.

But what I take OP, and most PPs, to be talking about is not an individual behavior but a group behavior. Groups of girls who engage in exclusion, cliques, gossip, or strict social hierarchies (especially if based on stuff like wealth or status of parents). Some schools are worse in this respect. Schools and parents can prevent this behavior by encouraging students to be respectful of all kids, refusing to give special status to kids from certain family (and having a culture of families who don't demand special status because of who they are or how much money they donate), and ensuring there are plenty of opportunities of students to intermix and get to know each other to reduce cliques.

But some schools, and some family communities, lean into these behaviors. If you want to avoid it, ask schools directly how they handle these issues, and also talk to as many families at the school as possible and especially talk to families who don't necessarily have high social status because their experience will help tell you how much of an impact wealth/status has on the experience of individual kids at the school. [/quote]

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