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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a very good relationship with my daughter until she was around 16.  Suddenly, around 17, she began to detest me, but she could never articulate any reasons (i.e. no abuse - physical, mental, narcissism, etc.). Both my husband and I have always loved her tremendously, provided for her, cheered her on at all her games and activities, and allowed her to pursue her own dreams.  She is 19 now and she is at the point, where she wants nothing to do with her family (but me in particular).  She told me that she cannot even stand to look at me and that I am pathetic.  Her therapist had once told me that it is really an issue that is more about her than me.  However, it's just been so painful and I just don't understand what is going on.  She blames me for everything that went wrong in her life.  She also says that she's upset that I didn't put a lot of pressure on her growing up (which I purposely tried not to do because I hated having so much pressure when I was growing up).   From the outside, she looks like she has it all (she was a good student, got into all her top choices for college, had wonderful friends and was very pleasant around everyone - except me). Anyways, just wondering if others can relate?  If so, did things get better?  And how?[/quote]

My DS18 is going through this.

It's still going on but it gets better when I ask why he thinks the things he does rather than simply being hurt by it. Instead of saying "it's unkind to call me pathetic," I would ask him why he thinks that.

It also got better when I put my parenting decisions in context for him. I described (without defending) why I made some of the choices that I did. I took ownership of where I went wrong or could have been better. I do have anxiety and DS does have ADHD, and we both have admitted that it's not a great combo for parenting. We've talked about it. [/quote]

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