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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "AP to “Stepmom”"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The only way I see that living with someone can be used as a financial lever is if the person is receiving alimony. Most agreements specify that once they are living with someone else or married, the alimony stops. I imagine that this is the sort of thing where the recipient of alimony has to go to court and complain about no longer getting her monthly check. She'd then be at the court's mercy as to whether she has to prove she's not living with someone or if the payer of alimony has to prove that she is cohabitating. Personally, if I were the payer and had enough tidbits of evidence to call it into question, I'd stop paying and wait for her to spend the money on a lawyer to try and enforce the agreement. But then again, I think that alimony is total bullshit, especially when the recipient refused to work while married and won't bother to get a job upon divorce. [/quote] It depends on the state. My husband's ex moved directly with her AP after 10 years of marriage. She got the bulk of his income via child support and alimony (plus extras) - long before me. She also got 1/2 of his military pension as soon as it started for the rest of her life regardless of remarriage or cohabitation. She'd constantly call screaming at him he's a deadbeat, refuse to let him see the kids and demand more money and not use it on the kids (we finally caught on as she'd demand money for soccer so we'd offer to pay directly to the school and ask to send a list of what shoes, clothing, etc. the kid needed - with recommendations and we'd mail it). She'd refuse that. Allimony is fine for a SAHP as at some point with kids if day care is more than take home it makes no sense to work to pay for day care. The issue is how long and should there be fault divorces. Should a spouse get retirement if they were divorced before 30 and moved in/remarried situations? Those situations should be saved for 20-30 year marriages where the person who had the affiar should pay.[/quote]
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