Reply to AP to “Stepmom”

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[quote=Anonymous]"Why would he agree to restrictions like putting assets in a trust, requiring life insurance after a certain age, or giving 401k to the kids? It's a nice ask, but I don't imagine a divorcing party will agree to restrictions that aren't otherwise required.

He wouldn’t unless she is willing to give something up in exchange. If she is stupid, she will.

"How I "leveraged" this was that I told him in a sober and calm manner that our child deserved to not be harmed by his dad's lame ass decision to break up our family. Our child shouldn't be the one to pay for his dad's choices. The least ExH could do was "do right" by his kid and promise him that he wouldn't be made any worse off than he would have been had his dad stayed. He knew that I would tell his family if he was trying to get out of committing to providing his only child with the same standard of living that he experienced as a child, and that they would pillory him.

I really don't care that his financial commitments make him less attractive to a future gold digger. And if he's stupid enough to have another kid at his age without the money on hand to give that kid what he gives to my DC, so be it.

I think it helped that I did not ask for a dime in alimony and I got fewer of our community property assets than I could have, in exchange for the guarantee that our child would be able to attend/afford the best college he could get into. It was very clear to everyone (mediator, judge, our friends and family that I complained loudly to when he balked about having to spend so much on college) that I was fighting for my child's future and not to pad my own pockets. [/quote]

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