Reply to Explain to me your thought process (parents) with being highly competitive with your swimmer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for this.  I keep thinking she’s 10 so she has 8 more years to develop since she’s on younger side.  But swim is such a tough sport.  Older kids play soccer, volleyball, team sports.  It’s very different when it all falls on you.[/quote]

Be slow.  I think when they are young it is so tough to see all the things that they can do better.  I always told mine, that is great.  It means you can learn (X.Y. or Z) and you will drop time.  And you know what?  The take it slow approach pays off.  My kids are in their teens and dropping time every year.  When they were 11-13 and barely keeping up with the superfast kids, and now those kids have plateaued.  
 
So now there are two scenarios - plateaued swimmers will keep having to wake up early and grind it out.  They might not have their next drops this year, or next, but have to keep working.  That is VERY hard to do mentally.  And the longer you can prolong that the better.

Less pushy or coming to the sport a bit later.  Keep making time drops as they improve.  Less time/chance of plateauing and feeling that frustration.  So breaks for vacations are great. Take a day off to do fun stuff or be with friends every once in a while.

Swim is a mental long game and your swimmer will have bad seasons or flat seasons.  So they need to love it and want to be there, even if they are not having success. [/quote]

This story of mediocre swimmers suddenly rising to the top and passing all the elite age group swimmers just doesn’t happen often. It’s exceedingly rare, although [b]it is a common fantasy of the parents of 12 year old B swimmers.[/b] In reality, the very best elite swimmers generally were always good. There are some who maybe got a late start in the sport, but had they started swimming at 8, they also would have been good all along. Very rarely do you have a kid who plugs along for years barely getting B times, and suddenly at 15 becomes elite. Sorry, that’s reality.

Now, there are some ups and downs during the puberty years as some kids (especially boys) gain size/strength earlier or later than others. But generally the cream will rise. [/quote]

Keep telling yourself the bolded, PP.  That, in a nutshell, is the thought process of parents who are competitive with/push their young swimmers too hard.  "Parents of slow swimmers are delusional, they think their kids could be as fast as mine.  A ha ha ha ha!"

In reality, most of us parents of 12 year old B swimmers are proud of their hard work and support them no matter how fast they are.  We're not so insecure about our kids' swimming prowess (or lack thereof) that we come on anonymous message boards to bash parents of slower kids.  [/quote]

Ha, you really got me wrong. I am you - the parent of B/BB swimmers. I am super proud of my kids’ hard work but I also live in reality. They gain so much from swimming - appreciation for hard work, the experience of being on a team, balancing school/sport commitments, enjoying their teammates. They are hardworking, decent swimmers but will never be “elite.” They will not swim D1 or make NCSA cuts or go to Olympic Trials. And that is perfectly fine. I have kids that spread a wide enough age range to have really seen this play out across the age groups and although there are certainly exceptions, the very fast swimmers have a natural talent that is hard to put a finger on. Yes, they also have to work hard and it is true that sometimes they will burn out or peak early, but usually they will remain elite if they stay in the sport.

And maybe our team is unusual, but the parents of the truly elite swimmers I know are, by and large, very grounded and philosophical. Most did not push too much too early, and for the most part these highly talented kids have steered the ship. That is often the case with any elite athlete. Do I always know what goes on behind closed doors? Certainly not - but many of these kids and parents are our close friends and I can decidedly say most are not crazy, lol.

I really do think some of this is sour grapes and it’s a shame. My kids are not elite swimmers, but they enjoy swimming and have myriad other talents that will take them far in life. At the end of the day, swimming is a brief season of life, even for the elite ones. I don’t have to vilify the parents of the elite ones or hedge my bets on the ultimate failure of their kids in order to make myself feel better. [/quote]

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