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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Male here - many, many years ago I had a female boss who was disliked by most women and men because she was tough and demanding. She was an early female Harvard MBA and one of the few women in a very senior position. To succeed in a world of men, she had to be tough. I got along great with her because I wasn’t intimidated by her and she liked that I pushed back and it helped I was good at my job. We had many long conversations about managing and leadership and I think I helped her become a better boss and she me. As a PP said, team sports has been very beneficial.[/quote]

That's great, but what some of us are talking about is "mean girl" behavior, which women specifically reserve for other women. The whole point of being a mean girl is to put other women down.  They only do it to other women, so a man will have a very nice experience even with the mean girl boss. Women know what I am talking about, and it is very hard to explain to me who do not understand the deep interpersonal dynamics between women.[/quote]

Yes. It’s this. I can’t even explain the mean girl behavior that happens. Some of it is very petty and men see it happen too but it doesn’t happen to them directly. My first day as a new manager, another manager on the same level as me came in and offered everyone (like 6 people were in my office talking to me) homemade truffles. Except me. She wouldn’t look at me and smiled as she walked out. That was just the beginning. I would get left off emails, excluded from meetings and generally attacked in meetings I did attend by her. She did it to a few other women too. I’m well liked, non argumentative, helpful, and good at my job. I’ve never been able to figure out why she hates me. We’ve risen the ranks at the same time and others have asked me about her behavior. If I could opine on why she hates me- I’m attractive and perky/cheerful. She’s attractive too though, so I’m not sure why that would threaten her.

As a female manager I refuse to do things like this to other women and I make sure the people below me treat everyone with kindness. [/quote]

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