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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, here’s what we did when our oldest dropped out of college after his first year (a disappointing year with bad grades and no initiative).

We told him he had to set some goals.  One being a career goal, and some social goals.  Like your DD he just wasn’t doing anything but hanging out with us all the time.

He had to develop a plan, and sit down with us to talk about it, and how he planned to work towards the goals.  We made it clear we didn’t expect it to be set in stone, he could change his path, but he had to be working towards *something* as a real career.  We would support him financially (eg, roof over his head, the used car we let him drive, food at home, etc) in his efforts, as long as he kept working towards it in a meaningful way.  And we would have formal check-ins on a regular basis.  Formal as in sit down and this was our topic and updates would be provided.  So it wasn’t just, “hey how is everyone going?” and a reply like “fine”.  It was here is what I’ve done, here’s what I’m planning on next, here’s the expected timeframe.

And social was similar.  Those check-ins included what he had planned for getting out of the house.

He set a career goal and he also worked a part-time job as he completed some coursework and some other things to enroll in a program that led to his now-career.  He also started dating and eventually found his now-fiancé.  It didn’t happen overnight, but we were firm that this was the expectation, and he did it.

I’m super proud of him![/quote]

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