Reply to I think I’m being taken advantage of and I want out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is wild to me how nasty people are here. Just HELP YOUR NEIGHBOR. Why the need for reciprocity or payment? My god you people are awful. [/quote]

I have been taken advantage of too many times to be this simple. I wish it wasn't the case but there are a lot of people who will just test out to see if you are the kind of person who is "helpful" and then will start taking advantage of you to save them time and money. This has happened to me enough times to be very wary of it.

Helping your neighbor is something like "hey I had to take Larlo to urgent care and DH just told me his train is stopped and he doesn't know when it will start -- can you pick up Larla and let her stay at your house until one of us is back." It's not becoming your neighbors permanent childcare solution to save them the trouble of shifting work schedules or hiring help.[/quote]

Depends. Did OP agree to pick up three days a week for more than just the first few days of school? That would be helping either way - a few days or a few weeks or all year. Helping doesn’t have to be just in emergency situations.

We only have OP’s side of the conversation so we will never know what the understanding was with the neighbor. [/quote]

We know from OP's account that her understanding was that this was needed specifically because of the infant's sleep schedule. It doesn't actually matter what the neighbor thought they were agreeing to because OP is the one doing the helping. If OP misunderstood then that is on the neighbor for not being clear. When you ask someone for a favor you need to be clear and specific to avoid just this kind of confusion.

It would be different if OP was deriving any benefit from this arrangement. She's not -- the burden is all on her. She was fine helping with the baby's sleep situation but if that's over she wants to stop.[/quote]

And we are only hearing one side of that conversation. Perhaps OP as not clear.

[/quote]

It is not OP's job to be clear. She is the one doing the favor. She said yes thinking she was agreeing to one thing but it appears they though she was agreeing to something else. But since this entire arrangement is for the other family's benefit then it is on them to set expectations clearly. They didn't so now OP wants out. OP's communication is "yes" or "no." It was originally "yes" and now it's "no." If OP misunderstood that is actually the fault of the other family for not being more clear about what they were asking for.[/quote]

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