Reply to Ten-year-old boys -- mind blown

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Ten-year-old boys -- mind blown"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This rising 4th grade class is an absolute disaster. They missed fundamental social and behavioral development due to the pandemic and having spent their kindergarten year on computers and 1st grade in masks, at least around here. I’m making no statement about the decisions made at that time but this group of kids is absolutely stunted in their development and their behavior reflect that. [/quote]

My parents never went to pre-school or kindergarten and yet were raised with firm boundaries. Stop blaming this on lack of socialization. [/quote]

No, I agree with the PP you replied to. It’s different to not go to preschool or kindergarten but to be getting attention from parents, responsibilities, and to be amidst neighbors and a community every day. That in itself creates socialization and boundaries- socialization isn’t just “having playdates”.

My dad is quite elderly and started school in 1st grade because kindergarten was not yet compulsory. He was fine, but he was also raised on a block with neighbors who were around all day, clear expectations from adults, a parent who took care of him during the day (vs being in another room on a computer), outdoor time, and zero screens.

[b]My rising 4th grader has a bunch of classmates whose parents either were working in another room 10 hours/day while they were left literally and figuratively to their own devices, or classmates whose parents were supposedly present but sitting in a backyard getting drunk by a firepit with their “pod” while the kids interacted with zero outsiders, strangers or authority figures. I hope it will improve over time but as I see them now, these kids are not going to get better- only more disregulated and feral.[/b][/quote]

This right here is the problem.  Parents didn’t parent during the pandemic and those were crucial development years for kids around 9-11 years old now.  There is no fixing it, kids brains are wired at this point.  [/quote]

Kids' brains are not wired beyond repair in 4th grade, geez. My older kid is this age and yeah, it was a really rough year, but he's certainly learning. Third grade was the year we really started to set higher standards for cleaning up after himself, and we've had to set very specific and routine screen time limits because his younger sibling is a little too obsessed. We also really have to repeat and reinforce basic manners like holding the door for others, not talking while your mouth is full, looking at someone when you're talking to them, etc. But I don't blame covid, I think this stuff isn't actually natural, it's taught and we need to teach it. [/quote]

Agree. In my experience it requires a lot of repetition and these kind of posts make me worried, because my son is definitely not perfect yet though I would hope he wouldn't do the things mentioned. He does take his plate and put it in the dishwasher after all meals but still requires reminders and I'm not certain he would remember at someone else's house when he is out of routine. In my experience also some kids are easier to teach these things than others. My older son has ADHD and the amount of repetition he needs is INTENSE. and insert a little stimulation with friends and it can go quickly out the window. My younger son has been easier to teach these things from the beginning. He is just has a milder temperament and doesn't have the ADHD making it a little tougher for him. My older son will get there, but he is definitely not perfect at people's houses. We prep him every single time and talk through scenarios like this, remind him the answer is OKAY when a parent gives a direction. But I'm sure he's an a-hole sometimes. Mostly parents have said he was great but I'm sure there are moments. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics