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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for the insights. I'm not posing this question here to figure out a solution for my sister and parents, but rather, see how others would approach it. I have a young child, and DH and I have talked a little bit about how we want to be a safety net for our daughter as she gets older, but also want her to be independent. Given that this situation with my sister is happening now, it's made me reflect on how to create that balance in the future. [/quote]

We will be a safety net for our kids--they are college and recently launched.  However, that means having a full time job and living within your means.  [b]We help so they can save more for retirement and have a "nicer car"[/b], but wouldn't help if they were not financially stable.

In this case, your sister has no business having an animal.  That restricts where you can live and costs money.  She can work 2-3 months in the summer or get a weekend job during the school year.  Heck, tutoring in most nicer areas like you describe will get her $50+/hr.  Do that in evenings or weekends (10-12 hours per week) and she will be fine.  Also if doing that, that is 10-12 less hours to party away and waste money.  There are ways to figure it out.  [b]She is not "struggling" to survive.  She just wants to live a better life than her job will allow. [/b] I would not finance that.

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That is precisely what you are doing.  Give me a break.  You are exactly the same as OP's parents.  [/quote]

Nope!  Our grown and flown kid can afford their nice apartment, their new car, everything they do and still afford to save for retirement.  However, since we are UHNW we have chosen to start gifting them money now, when it matters the most.  We want them to Max out their IRA and 401K plans.  They would be putting aside about 20% without our help.  They are not living in the most expensive place, but have a very nice place close to work.  They do NOT need financial help to afford their 1 bedroom.  They are downright frugal and love to save.

See the difference?  While we do gift money, our kid has a great job, getting 10-15% raises each year, and chose a place to live that they can actually afford without any outside assistance.  They still manage to save a lot even if we are not gifting them.  So they (like any adult) live within a budget.   They chose to have only basic furniture in their place because "they don't need more".  They are incredibly grateful for our gifts and fo the big gift of having college paid for, as they have many friends who are now paying loans.

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GIVE NOT GIFT

But regardless - I really find it hysterical that people here think that it's great to give money to kids who don't actually need it, but a crime, yes a crime, to give money to a kid for whom it would actually make a real difference in how they live.

You people are very funny.[/quote]

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