Reply to My school emails me nearly every day with a complaint about something dc has said and Idk what to do.

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Reply to "My school emails me nearly every day with a complaint about something dc has said and Idk what to do. "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry you're struggling with this, OP. I know what it's like to feel like everyone is blaming you for behavior you don't condone and have in fact tried for years to stop.

I hear that you say your kid doesn't qualify for SN privates, but there are privates for kids who need more support. Some are SN privates, and some are traditional privates with more openness to neurodivergent kids. I'm not sure you need to change schools, but if you decide to, these are worth seriously considering, especially as you approach middle school. I was super hesitant about this road myself for a similar kid, but it really has been a godsend.

[b]It also infuriates me when schools seem to think we at home have some magic that can fix things. Trust me, if I did, they wouldn't need to call me on the first place! [/b]Our kid's therapist even recommended to us at one point that we keep school and home separate and don't give consequences at home for school issues (although that may vary by kid and situation). Much of my kid's school behavior is also so different from home that it's hard to really enforce something - like, he has went through a period of swearing a lot at school but didn't swear at all at home. I try to remind myself that they are reaching out to partner and approach it that way, but I do think there is an outdated idea for some teachers that the behavior is somewhat about lax parenting.[/quote]

op - ty for this. i think this may be the answer. there are some privates in nyc that have supports for sn kids; the reason we haven't gone down that path so far is that ds has been happy and done well up until now. I guess I wonder whether one of these privates (which are also expensive) is better than a 'good' burb public which also has services.
the bolded is also 100%. I think this was my badly articulated frustration. It's that they seem to think I can 'fix' dc's autism. 
'if i had a nickel' (literally) for every single thing we've said or podcast we've listened to or book read about kindness and perspectives I would be a billionaire. Our younger dc who is nt and on the accidental receiving end of all this is so ridiculously nice and mature and kind as a result that the school suggested accelerating him a year due to maturity level. [/quote]

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