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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here. I wanted to add that my parents separated/divorced when I was 8 and I never felt abandoned by my dad moving out. So don't let the fearmongers convince you that your children will feel unloved. I knew that my parents were unhappily married. Once he moved out, the fighting/tension ended![/quote]

But you had a golden opportunity to be promiscuous, take drugs, and generally fuck up your life![/quote]

I had that opportunity regardless. Fortunately, my dad raised me to value myself, even (gasp!) though he lived outside of the home! [/quote]

This is what I say in many threads where people who are in TERRIBLE marriages post that they could never ever consider divorcing because of "what it would do to the kids." Your kids will only be harmed by your divorce if you are an asshole about your divorce. If you can be mature and co-parent with your ex in a healthy way, your kids will be FINE. I was so much better off after my parents divorced. They got along better because they were no longer trapped in a miserable marriage with one another. They went on to marry other people and we got new stepfamilies we loved. On the occasions my parents were around each other, it was no longer unbearable because they didn't have to argue or ignore one another because of the resentment. They could chat nicely, say goodbye, and we all went back to our homes.

I really think too many people stay in awful marriages because it's comfortable and easier for them and they convince themselves that a divorce would ruin their children for life. In reality, living in a home with parents who either visibly hate one another or have practically nothing to do with one another is a much worse model for kids than an amicable divorce. Kids KNOW. They know if you can't stand each other, they know if you avoid each other, they know their home is not happy. I think a lot of kids would prefer two happy homes to one miserable one. [/quote]

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