Reply to I filed for divorce today and feel awful

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]12:30, I fail to see why your not liking that idea would automatically disqualify OP and his wife from at least considering it. [/b]12:40, THANK YOU. I would wager a large amount of money that those PP's are angry, and it shows, and the kids "catch" it. But as a followup reveals, that poster's ex isn't even trying to be a dad.

Either OP and his ex aren't a good match, or OP is a selfish twit.

OP, I really hope (assuming you're not postin' dirty) if your wife's done some bad things over the course of the marriage that you're not going to stay silent in some misguided attempt to "protect" your wife.

With that said -- how is wife better off staying married to a selfish twit? How is staying miserable in a marriage better for anyone involved?

I also hope these Defenders of Marriage put out, regularly, and otherwise live their lives like Proverbs 31 women (minus the God stuff if they're atheist, the rest is pretty much a Stepford wet dream.)

The OP seems a bit selfish, but the Defenders of Marriage just seem angry. I wonder how much good that does their kids.[/quote]

Yeah, that wouldn't be the first piece of advice I would give someone having trouble in their marriage. I find it a bit odd that you do.[/quote]

It depends on the type of trouble they're having. If the two are just headed in somewhat different directions and can get along well as partners/co-parents, then an open marriage or marriage where the two lead largely separate existences shouldn't be dismissed out of hand. In the latter, each party does their own thing, occasionally coming together for family events (and optionally) the occasional date night. This can also work when one partner comes out as asexual or gay later in life, and can be terminated after the kids hit high school or college or continued until death do them part.

Now if OP was caught boning the 20 year old babysitter, an open marriage wouldn't really work out so well and would be more "OP's wife desperately trying to hold on to what she has." I wouldn't recommend an open marriage when the problems revolve around "one partner sneaking around with other people" but I don't know why it's a terrible idea when it's "the partners are just different people but still get along as friends."[/quote]

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