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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "s/o How do we screen potential spouses for mental illness?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a great question. TBH, looking back, there were red flags. But I rationalized them and went ahead because I had poor judgment in my mid 20s.[/quote] agree. My red flags I passed over involved the 2 "fights" we had. He basically locked me out of his apartment and went to bed early with ear plugs in, instead of clearing anything up (he was late for our planned dinner and never gave a heads up, was out at the bars after class with friends - double booked). He never cleared it up, he stonewalled and pretended nothing happened, next time we interacted. I think he tried to be extra nice so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. The second time we were overseas, dressed up for a black tie event, and some disagreement came up, he shut down, changed and went to bed. Leaving me in my gown and curlers and a car I wasn't to drive in a strange city. Never cleared that up either. Basically he cannot resolve conflicts or communicate, unless its unicorns and rainbows or work topics. His family, who live far away, are the same. Never talk at dinner or about real things. Passive. Sweep things under the rug. And I know how he diagnosed with Autism Level 1/HFA/Aspergers and Bipolar II once we had kids. He was acting mental and shutting down and raging more frequently than ever. He cannot handle Adult Life. [b]Ladies - if your date refuses to talk things out when you are upset, maybe not in the moment, but at least the next day. RUN. RUN. RUN. I told myself "this is a guy thing." No. You do not want a lifetime of stonewalling and shutting down. Especially if you have kids. [/b][/quote]
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