Reply to The man I'm dating told me he'd like me to stay home after kids, I don't want to do that.

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Reply to "The man I'm dating told me he'd like me to stay home after kids, I don't want to do that."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]SAH is not right or wrong[/b].  But you aren't compatible if you want him to share in taking care of the kids, because he has said he doesn't want to - don't expect that to change. If your HHI would be high enough to pay for a nanny and other time-saving expenses while you both work, have another conversation with him. Help him understand how continuing to work will make you a better mom (because it feels something you need as a person, or whatever your reasons are) than you would be if you SAH and what the two of you could do to make it work. See how he responds and if there is mutual respect.  Don't go forward if there is not mutual respect.  If you do go forward, be prepared that you will be the one who has to take the sacrifice if plan A of hiring a nanny, etc., doesn't work out  -- because, again, he's said he doesn't want to take care of kids. [/quote]

In an ideal world you are correct. However we don't live in an ideal world.

Ideally both men and women would tackle the role equally.

However what we have is the responsibility unequally falling to women, because men don't respect the role they consider it beneath them while claiming provider when in actuality they are checked out from home and parenting.

It also tends to breed men who are entitled.

Also important to know for those who are pro women's rights there's a move to force women to stay home.
And before you say that would never happen.

This is the same group behind the push to overturn Roe v Wade and ban abortion and who are making IVF difficult.

They have a variety of tactics but one of them is to pst questions on online forms.

The posts are usually seemingly benign.
Occasionally they are vitriolic in tone that uses disparaging terms for women, these posts are often called out as being from incells.

Some common topics and buzzwords are women staying home, manly men, feminism is bad and traditional marriage and roles.[/quote]

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