Reply to Dad’s new “companion” after mom’s death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom passed away 6 years ago after a long battle with cancer. She was in her mid 60s. It’s still extremely heartbreaking to my family (me, my dad and my brother) and I miss her more than anything.

A few months ago, on a phone call with my dad (who is in his 70s now), he very casually mentioned that he felt like he was ready for some “companionship.” It took me completely by surprise as I couldn’t imagine my dad ever wanting to be with anyone after 40+ years of marriage with my mom. I voiced my surprise and confusion on the call and he didn’t bring it up again. A few months passed and he, again very casually, mentioned a childhood friend that he reconnected with. I also recently found out via another family member that they travel together and spend quite a bit of time together. Most recently, he brought her to a family function, which I must admit, was upsetting to hear.

I’m not sure how to process these emotions. Part of me feels like my dad is forgetting or replacing the 40 years he shared with my mom and her memory feels more and more distant. At the same time, I’m glad my dad isn’t completely alone because we don’t live near each other and I worry about him. Truth be told, I never want to meet this friend of his and I don’t want her to be a part of my life. I know she could never replace my mom. I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has navigated feeling this way or if I’m completely off base. [/quote]

Are you 12? I am stunned by your comments. What did you think was going to happen  after your mother died? Did you think he would  be required to live by himself until his 90s alone in deference to your Mom who sadly died young?  No one is replacing  your Mom. This isn't an "instead of" but an " and."  You will  meet her. You will be kind to her. You will accept this and you will support your father. 
I would  encourage both  parties to keep their finances separate, no need to marry, but they do need to enjoy their lives. Your mother would agree. Now pull  up youd big girl pants. At least he didn't win her in a TV contest  held over a week and broadcast on national TV.  He was very thoughtful in his choice  and he deserves to be happy. [/quote]

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