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[quote=Anonymous]I would use the morning as a starting point in a conversation. Say how much it upset you because it made you realize how much you do to feed him and the family and he does not and you want more of an equal partnership. And that it showed a basic lack of consideration for you. Then let him respond. Go from there to slowly establish new routines and expectations.

I used to do a lot of the cooking (and other stuff) and started to get burn out and resentment. I scaled back and when dh would ask “what’s for dinner?” I would say “no idea. Do you have any thoughts?” (I also said directly can you handle dinner tomorrow etc).

Now he says “what should we do for dinner?” And we discuss what to have, who’s going to cook, etc. we don’t have a set schedule, we are too disorganized for that and have constantly changing schedules with work, classes,etc but it’s definitely now a shared responsibility.

Dh also does mornings (which now kids get themselves what they want but he’s up to make sure folks are on track and makes me coffee and will cook pancakes or eggs if requested). I sleep in more/drink coffee and am generally useless before 7 am. We cook/prep dinner together  sometimes too—I make the main and he does the salad, etc. kids pitch in as well.

I think it’s also important to model this for your kids..that being said, dh grew up in a family where his mom worked f/t and cooked everything and parented while did dad was underemployed and gambled all their money away. Fortunately both dh and his brother do a ton with the kids, unlike their dad, and his brother is a great cook. They realized early in they had a crap dad. [/quote]

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