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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Things change, but if you can’t get it up unless she has a BMI of 20 or less or you think that annual sex is a perfectly acceptable outcome when the marriage is more than 5 years old, don’t withhold that info from the other person."

I'm OP and give this +100! I wish I'd had that conversation with my spouse before I married him. Don't marry anybody who believes it's acceptable to have a sexless marriage unless you're okay with it. Both people should be honest about what they're committing to for life.  It never occurred to me to ask this question when we were dating because it didn't even seem like a possibility. [/quote]

DH and I had wild, satisfying, acrobatic sex for years before he decided that meh, it's not that important.  Who could have guessed that was a possibility??  He wouldn't have!  People change.[/quote]

This is true. I used to think that sex drive was sort of like height; you just have what you are wired with and that’s that. Turns out it really ebbs and flows with life circumstances. Not for everyone, but many, many people have less desire for sex when they are sick, tired, touched-out from kids, experiencing hormone fluctuations, stressed about a work deadline, find no attractive people in sight, etc. It’s not simple.

The best thing you can do to maintain your sex life, probably, is learn what it means for your partner needs to have a good sex life and try to help them maintain that state of being. Or at least ensure they get to that point sometimes. But even then, people are people and bodies are bodies and they don’t stay the same. 
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