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[quote=Anonymous][quote]+1. I had my kid apply ED to the college where it would matter the most keep RD applications in. He got into a better college in RD and took it. The high school threatened to withhold my kid’s transcript because we waited until May to decline. But, they folded like a paper house in a hurricane once my lawyer got involved. In return, we agreed not to tell people what had happened. But, it’s not like my kid getting in ED to one school and attending a better one was a huge secret. Anyone could do that math. And his peers who hadn’t been as savvy had “suspicions” and were unhappy. Three week from graduation, after which everyone moved on. My kid just moved on to a better college. Never got pushback from the ED school. Apparently a couple kids called the RD school to tattle. But, they looked like bitter rejects from that college— which they were. We never got pushback. I think the HS dealt with them/ alerted him to the presence of out attorney. .

Colleges, selective HSs, other parents and students— everyone is gaming the system for an edge— and counting on “ethics” and “we’ll hurt the kids behind you” to keep the system running. As if the kids ahead of mine would say, “could have gone to an Ivy, but didn’t want to hurt the (then) juniors”.   No one does that IRL. Parents talk a big ethical game unless/until they are in a position to trade up after ED. In which case they always do.

If you have a decent lawyer and are willing to back up threats, you can absolutely decline your ED school in May for a better RD. The dirty little secret is that ED is an very anti-competitive practice. Colleges and HSs and college counselors may threaten. But, they won’t follow through if you push it. No one wants that lawsuit, because it has merit. There is a good chance that if it were ever fully litigated, ED would be a thing of the past/ would be struck down. And selective colleges and selective HSs and college counselors need ED, which benefit affluent kids and families and the selective colleges/HSs and college counselors that serve them. They can’t risk that lawsuit going sideways.

IME, put you kids RD applications in before ED decisions, and then just don’t withdraw them. Never hurts to see what all the choices are. And if your kid has a substantially better offer in RD, go for it and don’t let HSs, college counselors and selective colleges bully you into accepting second best. This is the real world and your lawyer will win this fight. And if you have a Stanford (RD) vs WashU or Chicago (ED1) face off, hire the lawyer and send your kid to Stanford.
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Your complete lack of ethics is just beyond disgusting. And stop rationalizing your behavior by saying that "everyone is gaming the system" because that is definitely not true.  It's just something you say to make yourself feel better.  If you were a parent at my kid's school virtually every other parent would shun you for being a selfish axxhole and teaching your kid to be the same.  Zero chance that this complete lack of integrity doesn't show up elsewhere in your life, so I would not be surprised if most other adults already steer clear of you.[/quote]

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