Reply to Fair division of household responsibilities vs. income

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the expectations should be based on work hours, not income. Across the board, pay is not generally reflective of how long or hard you work, some industries just pay a lot more than others.

That said, as someone who earns about 70% more than my husband and feels the after work/dinner scramble, lower the weeknight cooking expectations so one of you can get it on the table fast. We do a lot of leftovers of meals cooked on the weekend, pasta once a week, frozen food once a week, breakfast for dinner, and so on. [/quote]

+1. It should obviously be based on total work hours, unless 1 person chooses a very intense but low-paying job, which they shouldn’t do with kids. But both OP and her DH work similar hours. Even if a family has a SAHP, both parents need to contribute on evenings and weekends.[/quote]

This is not living in reality. Should a surgeon who earns 900K with a pre-school teacher husband who earns 70K expect to do a 50/50 split of chores? [/quote]

If the surgeon works more hours than the preschool teacher, no.  If they work the same number of hours, yes.  If the surgeon has a problem with it, he/she can invite the teacher to make homelife his/her job and support their spouse, or they can use their high earnings to outsource.  They don’t get to demand a spouse maintain a full time job earning money outside the home PLUS do all the work of a housewife/SAHP.  Pick one or the other.[/quote]

I don’t know if this pp is dumb or naive. Real life doesn’t work that way.[/quote]

I don’t know, it’s the way my life is - I make around $300k and my husband makes 10x that.  I could quit but we essentially view my job is an insurance policy until we’ve hit our retirement savings goal, which is high.  Since we’re both working similar hours, we both put in the same hours at home/with the kids.  If/when I do quit, I will pick up much more but in the meantime, it’s about both of us working full time, not money earned.  [/quote]

Your husband makes $3M a year and yet you are working as much as he does for $300k as an “insurance policy”? Do you have anxiety or something?[/quote]

No, we just have a very high savings goal for a variety of reasons (including expecting to support extended family in perpetuity) and if his job does blow up, which is pretty common in his industry, there’s no way he’ll ever make a similar income (realistically - obviously anything is possible).  We both graduated into the financial crisis so I think that does make us more conservative than we’d otherwise be. [/quote]

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