Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]WTF? Of course you shouldn't do that! What purpose would it serve? Talk to your husband but leave that woman alone.[/quote]

Really? My counselor recommended contacting the OW. What do I owe her - nothing. If I want somebody to stop being a part of my life I have the right to tell them to get the f out of my life. She decided to be a part of my life - I am not going to sit around like a wuss.

Guess what - if you are driving too fast past where my kids play I will tell you that too - no vows needed.[/quote]

I personally think contacting her gives her too much power over you. For my husband's EA, it took me about five minutes to figure out this woman is nothing to be jealous of. She was older than me, less attractive (I know those things are petty but I'm being honest here), but way, way more important, she had moved out on her husband and young kids, had a physical affair with another guy, and didn't try counseling with her husband/father of her kids or anything. She just didn't strike me as someone who was very together or stable (I'd also met her a few times).

I quickly realized SHE wasn't the problem, it was my husband's low self esteem that was causing him to seek from another woman what he should be filling in for himself (validation etc.). So I had no interest in contacting her. She was a non-issue. It was my husband's stuff we had to deal with.[/quote]

It did not give her any power - I just said your relationship with my H is inappropriate - if you respect yourself you will get counseling - I have spoken to your boss and my children will not be part of your class anymore.  Period.

Having many friends that have had affairs on their husband I wish somebody would have kicked them in the ass before it got physical and they could have gotten counseling first. I get lots of OW are psyco but this one happened to get it.[/quote]

OP - I think you need to take a deep breath and slow down.  It sounds like you are on a fast train to destruction.  In your first post you said this OW "She's divorcee of one year, doesn't seem to be over a previous boyfriend, currently has another unsatisfactory boyfriend, plus the EA with my DH. " and now you're saying because you confronted her that "she get's it."  Really??![/quote]

I'm the OP, but I did not post the previous comment.  [/quote]

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