Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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Reply to "Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]WTF? Of course you shouldn't do that! What purpose would it serve? Talk to your husband but leave that woman alone.[/quote]
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FWIW it did not get physical though my husband was ready to end the marriage (or so he thought. Once he came out of the fog things started changing. He didn't want to leave for her, as by the time I discovered what as happening things had cooled between them for the most part, but the affair definitely led him to think, I don't think I love my wife anymore!). It might be different if it was a physical affair...maybe I would want to contact her or her husband. I don't know. I don't think either of them meant for things to go this far, they are both married, have kids, etc. They were just both struggling and turned to each other as an escape instead of facing their issues.[/quote]

How long was it going on when you found out?[/quote]

My situation was a little different because I suspected for a while, but he was alwasy justifying it. It really was insidious in that they did develop a close friendship so it was easy for him to think he was doing nothing wrong (I think he knew, but he could justify it since there was nothing physical and they didn't talk sex etc.). It went on for about a year, they were coworkers. Finally it came to a head. It took me a while to convince him his relationship with her was causing damage to the marriage. Our counselor helped with that as well. He was very defensive and kept saying, it was not his intent so that there was nothing wrong. (He thought cheating had to be intentional). Took a few weeks for him to finally admit, he did damage, it was weak, it was wrong, he was sorry. Then he cut off contact with her. [/quote]

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