Reply to In a dark place today: Life isn’t Fair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m really struggling as I watch everyone around us begin and continue to expand their families. I’ve wanted a baby and a house and a family life since I was 27 years old! I am 36 now and while I was waiting to TTC as we were building our careers, others had already begun having babies, buying homes. Over the past 2 years I’ve had 2 ectopics and now I’m being referred to fertility clinics as the only way to have a baby. Meanwhile at this point even our younger siblings have started having babies and buying homes.

I’m a mess. [/quote]

I feel empathetic toward you, OP. I got married at age 27 and wanted to have a baby since then. I finally got pregnant on my 10th IVF cycle at age 37+. My friends' kids were in middle school by then. It took me 3 surgeries, 6 clomid cycles, 6 IUIs, 10 IVFs and 2 surrogacies to finally get to the "pregnant stage". My insurance did not cover any infertility treatments, I had lost my savings and was at capacity on credit cards. Not to mention nosy in-laws and unsolicited advices. That phase of infertility was really dark.

Things that helped me navigate through depression: 
I stopped following Facebook, distanced myself from friends who had babies, looked for hanging out with coworkers who were either childfree by choice or singles, and tried to stay as busy as I could with work and sports. My husband and my adopted pets saved me from going permanently underground.

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