Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life isn’t fair for a lot of people OP but you are not one of them. I get that you think life sucks right now not when you look at true unfairness around the world your life is not it. Yesterday someone on our buy nothing group posted that she knows of a teen in foster care who’s had a rough life is in need of a prom dress. She wants a certain color and size, did anyone have one. This 17yo in foster care should get to enjoy prom big she can’t because she can’t afford a dress. Her life is unfair. She is a child with adult struggles. Maybe you’re mean to have a healthy bio child , maybe not, but take fairness out if it.

You’re in the wrong forum, and your supercilious attitude has no place here, gtfo. We can always find someone who is doing or worse than us, so what. A struggle is a struggle. This is a supportive community; kindly eff off.

Anonymous wrote:Life isn’t fair for a lot of people OP but you are not one of them. I get that you think life sucks right now not when you look at true unfairness around the world your life is not it. Yesterday someone on our buy nothing group posted that she knows of a teen in foster care who’s had a rough life is in need of a prom dress. She wants a certain color and size, did anyone have one. This 17yo in foster care should get to enjoy prom big she can’t because she can’t afford a dress. Her life is unfair. She is a child with adult struggles. Maybe you’re mean to have a healthy bio child , maybe not, but take fairness out if it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. Life is rarely ever fair.

I know it sounds trite, but try to make lemonade out of lemons.

Are you open for adoption?

If not, the pros of being childless means you can do whatever you want in life. Having kids is hard on a marriage and yourself. Just read the parenting forum for examples.

You can still be happy without a child, but you have to be willing to find something else in your life that makes you happy.

I have two kids, and I love them dearly, but if I didn't have kids, I would travel the world, which is what DH and I started to do before the kids came. We could've also retired early if we didn't have kids.

Good luck to you, OP. Find something else that makes you happy.

This is tone deaf advice from someone who has kids to someone who wants them and can't conceive easily.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. Life is rarely ever fair.

I know it sounds trite, but try to make lemonade out of lemons.

Are you open for adoption?

If not, the pros of being childless means you can do whatever you want in life. Having kids is hard on a marriage and yourself. Just read the parenting forum for examples.

You can still be happy without a child, but you have to be willing to find something else in your life that makes you happy.

I have two kids, and I love them dearly, but if I didn't have kids, I would travel the world, which is what DH and I started to do before the kids came. We could've also retired early if we didn't have kids.

Good luck to you, OP. Find something else that makes you happy.

Anonymous wrote:36 is a fine time to start a family. As is 40, or whenever it happens for you and you're ready. Don't get hung up on your age.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 39 and have been trying to get pregnant for four years. And now my partner is pulling away from me. I don't think he is cheating but he really wants children and I just can't deliver. The weekend are the worst because we just silently tolerate each other. He's a homebody and I really wish he would step out so I don't have to keep thinking about how I am failing him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling as I watch everyone around us begin and continue to expand their families. I’ve wanted a baby and a house and a family life since I was 27 years old! I am 36 now and while I was waiting to TTC as we were building our careers, others had already begun having babies, buying homes. Over the past 2 years I’ve had 2 ectopics and now I’m being referred to fertility clinics as the only way to have a baby. Meanwhile at this point even our younger siblings have started having babies and buying homes.

I’m a mess.

I feel empathetic toward you, OP. I got married at age 27 and wanted to have a baby since then. I finally got pregnant on my 10th IVF cycle at age 37+. My friends' kids were in middle school by then. It took me 3 surgeries, 6 clomid cycles, 6 IUIs, 10 IVFs and 2 surrogacies to finally get to the "pregnant stage". My insurance did not cover any infertility treatments, I had lost my savings and was at capacity on credit cards. Not to mention nosy in-laws and unsolicited advices. That phase of infertility was really dark.

Things that helped me navigate through depression:
I stopped following Facebook, distanced myself from friends who had babies, looked for hanging out with coworkers who were either childfree by choice or singles, and tried to stay as busy as I could with work and sports. My husband and my adopted pets saved me from going permanently underground.

Anonymous wrote:Life isn’t fair for a lot of people OP but you are not one of them. I get that you think life sucks right now not when you look at true unfairness around the world your life is not it. Yesterday someone on our buy nothing group posted that she knows of a teen in foster care who’s had a rough life is in need of a prom dress. She wants a certain color and size, did anyone have one. This 17yo in foster care should get to enjoy prom big she can’t because she can’t afford a dress. Her life is unfair. She is a child with adult struggles. Maybe you’re mean to have a healthy bio child , maybe not, but take fairness out if it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling as I watch everyone around us begin and continue to expand their families. I’ve wanted a baby and a house and a family life since I was 27 years old! I am 36 now and while I was waiting to TTC as we were building our careers, others had already begun having babies, buying homes. Over the past 2 years I’ve had 2 ectopics and now I’m being referred to fertility clinics as the only way to have a baby. Meanwhile at this point even our younger siblings have started having babies and buying homes.

I’m a mess.

I feel empathetic toward you, OP. I got married at age 27 and wanted to have a baby since then. I finally got pregnant on my 10th IVF cycle at age 37+. My friends' kids were in middle school by then. It took me 3 surgeries, 6 clomid cycles, 6 IUIs, 10 IVFs and 2 surrogacies to finally get to the "pregnant stage". My insurance did not cover any infertility treatments, I had lost my savings and was at capacity on credit cards. Not to mention nosy in-laws and unsolicited advices. That phase of infertility was really dark.

Things that helped me navigate through depression:
I stopped following Facebook, distanced myself from friends who had babies, looked for hanging out with coworkers who were either childfree by choice or singles, and tried to stay as busy as I could with work and sports. My husband and my adopted pets saved me from going permanently underground.

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling as I watch everyone around us begin and continue to expand their families. I’ve wanted a baby and a house and a family life since I was 27 years old! I am 36 now and while I was waiting to TTC as we were building our careers, others had already begun having babies, buying homes. Over the past 2 years I’ve had 2 ectopics and now I’m being referred to fertility clinics as the only way to have a baby. Meanwhile at this point even our younger siblings have started having babies and buying homes.

I’m a mess.