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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse has major depressive disorder and anxiety. She also has outearns me x3 (she private, me public sector). I'm DH. I do about 98% of the household management, all the child logistics (get up early, pack lunches, drop off and pick up, manage schedules,etc.) and all the cooking, cleaning, maintenance, straightening up, etc. (while also managing a full-time not-so-unstressful executive role in my own right). Spouse gets regularly rattled by work stuff and then is in siege mentality (everyone is against me!) and while she mostly exempts our kids from the wrath, I get it all. It's like I'm the punching bag that is safe. Tiny things become major crises (e.g. she starts talking and then lowers her voice as she walks down the hall and I say, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear that last part" and this, in her view, is due to me (no one!) listening to her, not the physical fact of walking away and lower volume while saying something).  We have very little intimacy or companionship left, as she bottles it all up. Try to make friends and there is always something wrong with them. I won't/can't leave it because of our kids, but it's devastatingly depressing to think this is my life for the next 20 years. I saw all the signs but chose against them because they started to improve a decade ago, but then childbirth brought them all back and worse, Wouldn't trade it due to the amazing kids, but it's not fun on the whole (we do have lovely times and some fun mixed in, but it always feels like it's going to fall apart, because it does). And, jobwise, she's been in a mix of higher and lower stress environments and it's all the same--she's been an emotional and depressive mess in all of the environments. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. There's so much pain in some people's lives and most people don't have a clue. [/quote]

Thank you for sharing your experience.  My son started seeing a woman who is struggling with the same things as your wife, on top of other diagnoses.  He likes her a lot, and she him, but I can't help but think what happens if they take it further and get married, have kids, etc.  She can be very hot/cold towards him, and he spends a lot of time navigating around her struggles.  I'm sorry that you're dealing with this as well, and I fully agree with you on not knowing what's going on with people's lives behind closed doors. He wouldn't have known unless she straight out spilled the beans.[/quote]

I hope your son gets out and doesn’t marry her.  [/quote]

Thank you.  He intellectually understands that, but he's still emotionally extremely attached to her and says have great chemistry; however even his friends have pointed out the red flags to him.[/quote]

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