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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ Have to add that outside of these 3-5 days, he is a nearly perfect parent: very organized, in charge of the kids calendars for school and activities, does most of the drop offs and pick ups, does pretty much all medical appointments, does about a third of the cooking etc. And he is the bread winner ( his salary is double mine). I see the 3-5 days off every couple of days like a much needed break. He is very good at following routines once they are established. He is not good with change ( which is what I am good at).

It does not give him the right to take all these days off, but he is great so I am very understanding as long as there is respect and a peaceful, loving environment at home.

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No wonder he needs a break every few months, he is doing almost everything.[/quote]

I see why you would think this way. However, it's not true.  Think of everything else that is not listed there. He does a lot, but I do a lot too. I would happily switch roles, because I think I do more. I don't care either way. He does. He hates cooking, cleaning, organizing and cannot detangle their hair.

Additionally, when he started breaking down, kids were very young with no activities,  and we had live in help. I did all the night feedings( he wouldn't mind if I asked, but I didn't have  any problem doing them).

Our kids' activities and school are under a mile from the house so weekly drop off and pick up are close by. Drop off is 15 minutes total  there and back. They leave at 8: 28 and he was back this morning by 8:40.  I get them ready for school( I heat up and pack lunch, make sure hair is done and supervise them getting ready). Weekends are further away twice a month when they have games, and he does that.

I make dinner and clean up. That's at least an hour every night. When he cooks, it's usually the straightforward stuff( boil chicken, boil rice), and I almost always clean up after he cooks. I cook the meals that take longer.  I do all the cleaning. He has not mopped or cleaned a bathroom, window, or any part of the house in years. I do any organization: kids bedrooms, library etc.

I spend about an hour a week detangling hair( two girls with curly hair).

Most importantly, I do whatever he does not want to do. I am the flexible parent ( except I am more junior at work after taking time off so not always able to jump in). He hates doing dishes so I do them. He hates organizing so I organize. He loves taking them to activities so he does. He stays and watches. When I drop them at practice, I come back home and do dishes and then return to pick them up.

But I am not complaining. He is a great dad.

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