Reply to I think I’m going to have to contact my husband’s affair partner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]What would she get? He dropped her the minute I discovered it and has been completely no contact, doing everything he can to show remorse, work on marriage, etc[/b].  this is for me… [/quote]

OP, you HAVE to let this be enough for you because it's the best you can ask for right now. Him discarding her like trash and then NO CONTACT EVER from both of you is the best revenge. If you reach out, she'll know that she still holds power, you're still thinking about her, you're relationship must be ruined, and she will get some sick sense of satisfaction that she still has a place in your relationship (see: every single position r/theotherwoman). [/quote]

I hope you'll listen to this post above, OP.

This pretty much defines the idea that "Even negative attention is still attention."

Confronting her only gives her attention. She will know she got your goat enough to make you want to see her. Even if you blast her, that's still negative attention. Like PP says: No contact ever again from either you or DH is the best revenge. Erasure is much better than attention, no matter how much you may want to say your piece to her. I do get that you want to lay out your anger so she knows what she's done to you, and that's totally understandable. Fight that understandable impulse and think of her feeling utterly erased. She invested time, emotion and sex in your DH and...poof, gone, like she never existed. Much better than giving her your angry words to chew on or a confrontation with you to discuss with her friends. Do not hand her anything of yours, even your angry words. She's already had something that belonged to you and she had to give it back. Don't give her anything else of yours--not even your breath as you tell her to go to hell. [/quote]

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