Reply to Why is it taboo for adult children to leech off their parents, but not for parents to leech off their adult children?

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Reply to "Why is it taboo for adult children to leech off their parents, but not for parents to leech off their adult children?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound like a spoiled 18-24 year old asking this. 
Stats show Parents spend approx. $300,000 raising a child until age 18, plus tons more if they pay for college. That is enough.

For this, an adult child should then return the gift and help care for a parent for the last 5-10 years of their life when they become frail and need care. That’s the circle of life.

An adult age 22ish- age 60 shouldn’t need help or be leeching off anyone. [/quote]

No child asked to be born whereas the parent chose to take on the responsibility of raising a child.

That aside, there are a lot of crummy parents out there and the ones I’ve seen with the biggest “my kids owe me” are the ones who did nothing to save or set themselves up in retirement. Often this is cultural and I’ve seen it play out with friend who married into families with parents who lived pretty high on the hog spending paycheck to paycheck and now feel their child should care for them, often not just for a last few handful of years but potentially a couple decades. It’s so unreasonable.

And I imagine if you’re a kind, generous parent who treated your kids very well and you did the best you could to save, your kids will feel more inclined to want to help you if they can. But the expectation that your kids are going to just keep bankrolling you at the lifestyle you are accustomed to in old age is literal narcissism.[/quote]

:roll: Why don't you ask some adult children if they wanted to be born. Pretty sure 99% will say yes. That argument is really dumb.[/quote]

I would have mixed feelings about that, to be honest. My parents had too many children, they were bad parents to us, and I have thought many times that if they'd stopped having kids before I was born, both my parents and my older siblings might have had a shot at a more functional and healthy life. I don't blame myself for being born (not my choice) nor even really blame my parents (it was their choice but I'm not sure they understood it to be, and I think they were heavily influenced by religion and upbringing to have a certain kind of family that was against their interests).

Anyway, I can't say I "wanted" to be born, and I do have questions about whether it was best in the long run to have been born. I had a very abusive and neglectful childhood, and all my siblings and I have major issues, and even though I've made the most of it, I can't say unreservedly "I'm glad I exist." It's more that hope springs eternal that my existence will lead to something positive, which is different.[/quote]

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