Reply to Parents being flippant about inheritance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's a boomer thing. Some people will say it's selfish, but I think it's just a resetting of expectations of what it means to age.

When I was a kid, my grandparents were always available to babysit, and pretty much homebodies. Oh, they golfed and played bridge, got dinner with friends, and did the Florida snowbird thing, but they weren't taking big trips, eating out all the time, going to bars, hosting big parties, etc. We spent every NYE with them while my parents went out.

Now, I still stay home on NYE because my parents are still going out and not babysitting 😂 They just live differently , and they seem so much younger than my grandparents did at their age.They eat out, get cocktails, travel, etc. Basically, they're still living, which means they're spending a lot more money in their golden years.

So, unlike my parents, I don't have on-call, free babysitters and I don't expect to see a dime when they pass, but I actually think it's good. They worked hard for years and should enjoy this time. They gave me everything I needed to set myself up for success on my own. Will I ever be filthy rich? No. But I'm comfortable and looking forward to enjoying my own golden years once kids are grown and gone and I (hopefully) have some savings.[/quote]

I understand this approach.  I find it strange to save and sacrifice your entire life just so you can pass money along to greedy kids like OP.  My own mother doesn’t even have cleaners but will be passing me an estate of a few million dollars.

Personally I plan on also spending most of my money.  You can’t take it with you and I’m not going to limit vacations and luxuries to pass down money to my kids.  I’m not trying to die with the largest bank account. [/quote]

Heh it's easy for you to judge OP when you think you've got a few million dollars coming to you.

It's so hard to talk about money. It's so hard to talk about death. All of it is hard to talk about.

My own dad told me maybe a decade ago that he hoped to spend his last penny on the day of his death. I was really shocked - first, because even though I am a full grown adult, I am traumatized even thinking of my parents being gone. But also because why would you say that? My mom's tried to tell me since then that he doesn't mean it, blah blah blah - but I think he does mean it, and if that's what happens a hundred years from now when he and my mom are gone, so be it. They worked hard, it's theirs to do with what they want. But I'm also not some pollyanna martyr - I KNOW it's weird for my dad to have said this, and probably also for him to act like it's what he wants to do. Like I would never, in a hundred years, try to get my parents to NOT enjoy themselves in any way at all for the sake of leaving an inheritance - but even I, who has no kids, am thinking about what I can leave to my sibling's kids one day, and hoping that it will make their lives a little easier and nicer.

It's hard and strange to even think about any of this, let alone to talk about it - let alone to post on judgment central here about any of these complicated things. I don't get the sense OP is being greedy or mean, or wishing harm to her parents or anything. I think that money is complicated. I think that most of us have some association between money and love - and if our parents tell us they hope we get nothing from them, it brings up a lot of emotions! Also, it just feels bad. Also it perhaps affects how you think about your own later years - if you expected that you, at 80, might have some inheritance, and now you think you won't, that is something you have to wrestle with.

TL;DR: LOL at someone who thinks she's getting millions to castigate OP for being put off and confused by her parents saying they're giving her nothing. Never change, DCUM.[/quote]

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