Reply to Parents being flippant about inheritance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think some people are just self-focused. Assume you and your siblings are all gainfully employed and no extenuating circumstances, your parents probably feel that they've earned it and deserve some indulgence.

It's fine as long as they're responsible about planning for their care so the money doesn't run out.

It is jarring to hear that from them though, b/c the underlying message is that they don't care about the kids that much. [/quote]

OP here - and this is definitely part of it. My parents have a nice lifestyle, but not excessive in any way. They took us all on a really nice vacation this last year. We have a close relationship and always have. Which is why it's weird to hear my mom talking about "you can't take it with you." I'm wondering if it's more of a defense mechanism type response to thinking about downsizing and going into a continuing care type community.[/quote]

It’s because it’s NOT your money.  Your mom likely knows you have your eyes on her money.  Again, it’s not yours.  Sometimes when someone senses a person is entitled they react strongly.  My 6 year old acts entitled about fancy vacations.  It makes me not want to take her anywhere nice.

Stop focusing on OPM.  Other people’s money.  [/quote]

Not OP, but you are projecting. [b]OP is not asking her parents for money or asking about an inheritance. [/b]That is not the same as a 6 year old asking for fancy vacations.

I get it because my mother did this. My parents had plenty of money earned by dad and inherited by mom. I expected nothing. Mom still went out of her way to keep telling me they would not pay for things I did not ask for. We didn't want a wedding so we eloped. Mom had told me many times she would not pay a dime and I never asked. Then she was embarrassed and demanded she throw us a celebration after we were married. We didn't want it. She did it anyway and tried to shame us for all the money she spent on something we didn't want or ask for.

Mom went out of her way to list all the things she would not pay for over the years and it gets exhausting when again, you never brought it up.

Then as she got older and had the windfall from dad it got really bad and nasty. I never once brought it up, but every.single.conversation was about how "I have money" and I may just leave it to x, y, z or to a charity (she never gave the charities and mocked me for giving) or she will buy herself plastic surgery and mink coats. Whatever.It's gross to keep trying to flaunting the money and making it clear "It's my money and you can't have it." Keep your money and shut up about your money. At least your child is 6 and still learning. A grown up should understand it is rude, classless and disgusting to talk about all your money over and over and keep declaring "mine, mine,mine" when nobody asked. If my kid at age 2 said to another kid "I have a cookie and you don't....mine,mine, mine" I would take the darn cookie away and have a discussion about such rude behavior and I would look for books on kindness, empathy and generosity. If my kid continued to be so disgusting about flaunting what he has and trying to make other people feel jealous I would get help from a therapist to address such disgusting behavior.[/quote]

Then what is this post about?  To me and most readers, she is angry she is not getting money she thinks she should be getting from her parents.  [/quote]

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