Reply to I get upset when high-stakes things go wrong, husband doesn't care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We're on a vacation with young kids, and, for just one night, got a babysitter and a reservation at a fancy restaurant famous for its incredible views. The prices were a LOT for us ($45 for the typical app, $60 for the typical entree, I've never ever paid that much). But we decided to splurge for one night and enjoy the views.

When we got to the restaurant, we got seated in the back row with a partial view. We asked for a nicer table, and were told that we didn't book early enough. We booked almost a month in advance, and the website said nothing about some tables not getting the full view.

I understand that shit happens, and there's nothing to be done about it, and it would be unproductive to complain to the staff. But also, I was devastated. Without the view, it was just an overpriced restaurant. Plus our service was really mediocre. I quietly sat there feeling sad, doing my best to rally myself. I would have liked my husband to be annoyed or upset alongside me, so I could feel like we're on the same team.

However, my husband felt like it wasn't that big of a deal and why not just have a great time? He got really annoyed at me for being upset, even though I wasn't rude to him or anyone else, and just quietly tried to deal with my feelings. He said that seeing me upset annoyed him. He said he's tired of me chasing amazing experiences when we could just be happy with normal ones.

I understand things go wrong in life, especially when traveling. I have two young kids, so I have gotten pretty good at rolling with the punches. But when it comes to high-stakes things, and especially when it comes to bad service and people just being mean, I don't know how to just get over it.

I don't know how to not care that the one of the top things I was most looking forward to in the entire vacation, that we only get to do once a year, had gotten messed up. Yes, I wanted it to be amazing and romantic instead of sitting in the back watching 90% of the other couples enjoying the view while our waitress gave us the cold shoulder. I want to have an epic evening once in a while. I don't think it's shallow or wrong - I'm not posting on social media or even bragging to friends, this is something I want for myself.

My husband says if I'm not ready for things to go wrong, we shouldn't book anything super-nice or expensive at all. But that doesn't seem like a great solution either, because I would like to have occasional special experiences. How do I learn to be more like my husband?[/quote]

Your poor husband.[/quote]

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