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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To explain a bit more - DHs job is inflexible (or at least he treats it that way and that’s not something I can change short term bc his standard is that all of this could be done by a nanny. His view is our most important thing is securing their financial future which is frustrating but he grew up in an unstable war zone where his family lost everything so there’s a lot going on there ).

So that means I need to cover all the things I put these rules on and I start doing the math and think ok at a minimum 10 doctor / dentist appts a year, and 6 school performances for my one kid in school, and being home by x time every night and never traveling so that the kids always wakes up to a parent (dh travels a lot) etc etc etc and basically box myself out of any interesting job because I’m telling myself I must do alllllll the things on the family front.

So for those that don’t feel that rigid rule, im curious what they prioritize.  And for those that say all of this must be a parent, cool I’m that person currently too[/quote]How on earth do you get to 10 doctor and dentist appointments per year?  Our two kids get their annual checkups at a single appointment with their flu shot. Plus two teeth cleanings, also at the same time.  That's three appointments, and we try to book for 8 AM so we're at work shortly after.  Our au pair will handle kid transport to and from so we can go back to work immediately.  We haven't had a sick appointment in a couple of years, but that's mostly luck.[/quote]

My DS, an only, has more than ten a year. Yes, there’s the annual, the two dentists and several specialists, some of which I would say he sees quarterly. It’s not that my kid is unhealthy, but proper /routine care for a condition he has requires monitoring. All this to say, ten may be reasonable for OP. It helps to work with realistic assumptions.[/quote]

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